The Internet Make Me Stupid

(Fuckn Trebek)

It is a little known fact, that of the cool kids I have by far the worst.....wait or is it worse. Maybe its the wortsest? Fuck, i'll just google it. What I'm trying to say is my grammar bad. I can't spell worth shit and  I sweat profusely over the "their"s, "there"s, and "they're"s.  Scratch my head over the age old battle between "your"s and "you're"s.  And all I can think of is "FUCK FUCK FUCK." As far as I know semi colons and colons help produce shit. Well, in all honestly, I take about 5 minutes after writing a post and just say fuck it.

But really though, the Internet has indirectly made me paranoid about typing anything.  So much so, that in conversations through text or instant messaging I will intentionally choose a different word to use in order to avoid using the initial word that popped into my head, but mainly out of fear of looking like a jackass.  I am less confident in my ability to spell 6 letter words at the age of 25 than at the age of 10. I second guess every other key stroke as if the world would come to an end if that (mother fucking) red squiggly line appears underneath my words. You know you might be doing something might be wrong with the world if you still can't spell "tomorrow" on your first try.

Knowing that I can simply plug in my questionable choice of words into a search engine handicaps me as an adult.  It's like being prone to epileptic seizures and having to wear a helmet everywhere you go.  Or like having crutches with me when I exercise like I'm planning on twisting my ankle.  I am a child  wearing the body of an out of shape 25 year old.  Oh and I hate typing out the spelling of numbers because I realize when I type out numbers like 8 for a split second I look at the word and go "wait thats not right." Gone are the days where I can confidently search something on the Internet and feel empowered by information at my finger tips. Now is the time where google questions my every move with Did You Mean(to feel like a dipshit)s or suggests what I want to search before I finish typing because I'm a useless human being.  Maybe I should have got hooked on phonics like dem white kids did in the 90's.

Cry Baby

My last post in here was in 2011 and up until today I all but, forgot about the existence of the cool kids. But here goes nothing... 



Try for a second to recall the last time you, as a man, Cried. Be it ugly cry (like the video above) or a moment when even a single tear rolled down your cheek. The first things that may come to mind is some form of loss, physical pain, heartbreak and maybe even joy.  But for most men, it would seem the idea of crying is taboo.  Now take a moment and recall the last time you forced yourself not to cry. Maybe watching a heartfelt scene in a movie or replaying the best will smith crying scene ever.  Often times we hold back tears to appear stronger to others or to simply set an example for our sons, little brothers, nephews, etc. of what is expected of men.

I've seen maybe one of our own cool kids cry, but I won't mention any names, lets just say his name rhymes with badonis. Truth is it isn't anything to be ashamed of. I myself can't say that many of my boys have seen me cry, maybe at most a handful.  And on the other hand, I can count the amount of close homies I've seen shed tears themselves.  Believe it or not, as manly a man as I am today, I was once a cry baby. I know CRAZY right.

"You're not a girl! You're a boy! And boy's aren't supposed to cry" is what my family would say when they locked me in the bathroom, in the dark till I would shut up.  No wonder I have abandonment issues and an overall fear of being alone.  Thanks Mom & Dad!  In the world we live in we associate crying to weakness.  Bitch shit, as some would say.  We are pressured in so many ways to be stern and show no emotion. As I previously mentioned, we even will go as far as to hold back tears and stop them in their tracks.  And internally we force those emotions and feelings into a powder keg, that forces us to possibly have uncalled for outbursts.  Lashing out at the people closests to us, our partners, family and friends.  Quite possibly the same people who over the years pushed those tears and feeling further into our souls.


(G Baby not knowing he gon' die and shit. GOD WHY??? TAKE REEVES! TAKE HIM INSTEAD!)

I don't mean to place a veil of sadness on this blog, but my intention is to share something I've learned in the past year.  And thats that sometimes, it's ok to weep and ugly cry Anne Hathaway style a la Les Miserables while singing "On my own." Let that snot build up in your nose it's all good. Just take a  moment every so once and awhile and think of something sad and just let it go.  Cry for the ones you've lost and for all the times you held it back. Watch the movie Hard Ball starring Keanu Reeves and watch G Baby get shot and ball your eyes out.  There shouldn't have to be only a few key moments in a man's life where it is socially acceptable to cry. In a lot of ways when you put in perspective how much you've been told in your life that crying is for pussys, the act in itself is an act of defiance.  Fuck raising fists, burning flags and claiming to be down with your feminine side.  Shed tears player, it's empowering.  

- Just Ra

Filipino Food on Top Chef

Back in this blog's heyday, I wrote briefly about a Filipino Top Chef contestant. On tonight's episode, Sheldon Simeon's modern Filipino restaurant concept and sample dish won him a spot as executive chef in next week's Restaurant Wars episode where he will get to execute his concept.

For as often as I complain about how Filipino food isn't more popular, one of the blog recaps of tonight's episode referred to how Filipino food is on the come up. I guess I've been eating too many McRibs to notice.

In my last post about Filipino food and to this day when I talk about my culture's food, I'm insecure about how people feel about it. Chef and TV personality, Eddie Huang, had some of the same concerns during a visit to one of the Bay Area's well known Filipino joints. I have always asked myself: how do I get other people to like Filipino food?

Despite my recent infatuation with Korean culture, I still love Filipino food. I love ladling diarrhea-looking dinuguan on rice. As Huang suggested to a worker at the restaurant he visited, we have to be better at describing what our food is and what's in it. Wait, dinuguan is pork blood? With pork stomach and other weird parts? Nevermind.

I randomly encountered the awesomely named Señor Sisig food truck while in San Francisco recently. They prepare sisig/adobo style meat served on rice plates, tacos, burritos and nachos. It's delicious. And it made me think we will just have to hide this shit on tacos to get people to eat it.

So on Top Chef tonight, when Sheldon Simeon said he was going to make his restaurant concept revolve around Filipino food, I was excited but also a little bit nervous. There have been other talented Filipino chefs on Top Chef, but only in a few instances did they ever prepare a Filipino dish. Here was Sheldon talking about how he wanted to do a whole restaurant with Filipino food.

Sisig tacos probably lack the refinement of a winning Top Chef dish. I wondered what the hell he would make for the elimination challenge. Sheldon ended up winning the episode and the chance to execute his modern Filipino cuisine concept with sinigang of all things.

I chuckled every time a white person called it "sour tamarind soup" tonight. One of the judges took a sip and was like "wow, this soup is sour in a great way that makes me want to STAND UP." And I'm on my couch like, "Yeah, bitch, that shit is SOUR!"

A lot of things usually go wrong for the chefs during the Restaurant Wars episodes. No matter what happens next week, though, Sheldon put Filipino cuisine in the spotlight for a little while. He answered my question. How do I get other people to like Filipino food? Make it well and let people eat it.

"Total Knee Reconstruction"

Saddest three words I saw in the headlines tonight. With two torn knee ligaments and the term "total knee reconstruction," I fear the only doctor who can get Robert Griffin III back to 100% is whoever replaced Luke Skywalker's hand at the end of The Empire Strikes Back.

Between the San DiegLOLz Chargers, replacement refs, murder-suicide, and drunk driving manslaughter, I had a hard time watching football this season.

RG3 was a lone bright spot for me. As exciting as it was to watch Michael Vick fly across the field from the quarterback position a decade ago, Griffin seemed like the evolved version of that running quarterback: lethal speed with no compromise in arm strength or accuracy. I'm weary of how I sound gushing about him, but it was a treat for me to watch him play.

Knee ligament tears don't seem like the career death sentence it used to be. Adrian Peterson's historic rushing performance this season, fresh off an ACL and MCL tear, gives me reason to be optimistic but knowing that RG3's most recent ACL tear was of the patella graft used to repair the same torn ligament in 2009 has me fearing the worst.

Maybe he won't be running past defenses anymore but I hope RG3's surgery and rehab gives his lower body enough strength to still throw passes like this:

My McRib count is at 3 this season...

My favorite Instagram food picture is after one bite

There was a clever article at The Daily Meal that referred to the McRib as "redneck molecular gastronomy." People either love or loathe this sandwich and I'd argue that most of the love comes from its "for a limited time" nature. My oldest cousin has consumed 33 of McRibs this "season."

I actually think it's a pretty decent sandwich; I like the sauce, pickles and onions that accompany the pork patty. McDonald's is doing a gnarly promotion right now where a second McRib is only $1 if you order the combo. Usually when I order it, though, I can't help but get a Big Mac or McDouble too. Need that classic Mickey D's flavor fix.

My name is Lance and I will have a heart attack by age 30.

McRib Bibliography:
From Nebraska Lab To McDonald's Tray: The McRib's Strange Journey [NPR]
Pimp my McRib [The Daily Meal]

The second verse of the "Backseat Freestyle" video might be the best thing you see today

I have fond memories of growing up with Ray in Mira Mesa. We would just cruise down Mira Mesa Blvd, checking out all the usual spots. We would always stop by ICO, maybe pick up some candy or a Hello Kitty pencil box for the girl I was jockin' at the time.

I remember he would always roll up to my house and be like, "I got a pack of blacks and a beat CD," and then the two of us would freestyle rap the entire car trip. Best summers ever.

 

I'm a little bit disappointed there's not one scene of him rapping in the backseat of a car in this video.

Coolest Old Motherfuckers in the Room

When I look back and read the best entries we wrote for "Cool Kids," I remember how we struggled to think of a name for this blog. I think it was Ray who settled on the "Coolest Kids in the Room" and a circlejerk ensued among the four of us, relieved that we didn't have to think about the name anymore.

Only four years after we enjoyed our best run here, the name of the blog is horribly outdated. No longer kids in college ready to wax poetic about important young adult issues like an Obamafied presidential election or who the hottest Disney princess is, the four of us find ourselves on the downhill of our 20's with our undergrad days behind us.

We are old as fuck. There are people older than us who will read that and think, "Fuck you guys, y'all are still in your mid-20's." And those people will be right, and I thank God every day that I'm not as old as those people.

Desperate pleas to revive this blog as a team effort fell on deaf ears. Some of us put our "real writer" hats and took our talents to Tumblr. At least one of us did this successfully. Me on the other hand? I got sick of my "writing" voice and my Tumblr dashboard exists today only as a central hub of some of the best porn/nude modeling blogs out there.

I sometimes ask myself what the difference was between 2010 and 2008 and why it became so hard for us to write here regularly. It would be too much of a cop out to say we are too busy to do what we did in 2008. Maybe I don't have the 12 unit no-job schedule I had in '08, but if I were to keep a journal of how I spent my time on weekdays in 2012, at least 8 hours a day probably went to dicking around on the internet.

For me, I think the real difference was the ability to feed off each other's vibe. There have been times the past four years where I was motivated to write again. I could have opened up my Tumblr at the end of 2012 and given Kendrick Lamar a verbose handjob for good kid, m.A.A.d. city, but there was a missing incentive: a possible response or follow-up entry from three other talented writers.

Whether we like it or not, no matter how many hours we spend on our PS3 and no matter how hard we try to fight it, the four of us are grownups now. Maybe some of the things I write about these days will reflect that. Maybe not. If someone wants to write about marriage or job satisfaction or routes to work, that's fine. And I will still laugh my ass off if someone wants to write a 500-word exploration of the emotional journey that comes with taking a shit with the bubbleguts.

So for all of the other times in the past four years that one of us tried to get this going again, I'm sorry I failed. It took Nazer's corny ass post (no compliment here comes without a backhand) about doing stuff in 2013 to stop being a pussy about how people will read my shit.

Hey, in 2013, lets do something, anything. No seriously...

An article titled "6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person" has been showing up on my news feed recently. Mostly around the music school folks, but hey, give a bunch of very opinionated musicians a chance to check their ego for a sec and they'll eat it up.

It opens with a pretty forward question.

"I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here's the catch -- you're not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I'm a nice guy, I'm honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it."

I certainly couldn't come up with five solid, concrete points in a quick fashion. I had to dig deep, and even the last couple were sort of copouts.

The piece continues on about personal reflection, self improvement, but ultimately ending with creativity and contribution. What do you actually do? What have you done? And why aren't you doing more?

Check out the piece here :: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

I want to write more. I want to express more creatively. I want to do more. Hell, I want to do anything. At times I'm the very worst critic, especially to my own shit, and it's time to get over that and actually do something. I know all of you can relate.

So I ask of you fellow Cool Kids, beloved readers, lets all do more. Whether it's here on this blog, or your own myspace/tumblr/xanga, your kitchen, your studio, your football field nearest all you can eat KBBQ place, wherever it may be, just do something. Fuck the critics and the cynics, just do more. I know we're all very capable of doing so.

CONDO RULES

In order to survive and to bring in some sense of order to the foul abyss, excuse for a bachelor pad/frat house that was The Condo, many rules were established. Here are a few of those rules. 

Condo Rule #12:

When using AIM, always remember to sign off. 

Condo Rule #35:

If Condo Owner gets angry after discovering that you ordered a dozen premium, On Demand movies for $9.99 each, always blame Martino.

Example:
"But Alex, why would I watch 'Because I Said So' with Mandy Moore? It had to be Martino!"

Condo Rule #29:

Being the environmentalists we are, Vicente and I noticed that with each passing day, The Condo was single-handedly destroying the earth. As a result, we campaigned to make The Condo more eco-friendly. 

Follow "The Condo Green Initiative!"

• Remember to recycle your 40oz.
• Dispose of all cigarette butts in any of the many, designated Taco Bell soda cups
• To save energy, limit the number of computers/laptops/gaming consoles/tablets constantly running throughout the day from its usual 10 to 5
• If you have to pee, remember to use the toilet

(Note: "The Condo Green Initiative!" failed miserably)

Condo Rule #43:

Move with caution on the patio to avoid knocking over any bongs or hookahs.

"Dammit fool! That's the 2nd bong you broke this week!"

Condo Rule #15

Keng's alarm clock will go off at exactly 4:00am. If you are still drinking, smoking, playing video games, singing karaoke, actually trying to sleep -- remember that you must physically go into his room and wake him up yourself -- otherwise, his alarm will go on FOREVER.

Condo Rule #86

Do not throw up in the sink or bathtub. The sink is meant for stacking cups and dishes that will never be washed. The bathtub is a place to put the keg and to pass out, only.

Condo Rule #1

Most importantly...

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

If you are attempting to invite any females to The Condo, you are required to give at least an hour's notice before bringing them over. The homies must be given ample time to turn off all video games, clean up their shit and appear somewhat presentable; failing to do so will result in catastrophic embarrassment and a consequential beatdown for yourself.

OH MY GOD

This video showed up on reddit today and it made me lose my shit in a fit of laughter. Since writing on a regular basis doesn't seem to be our thing, I always wondered what it would be like if the four of us did a regular podcast together. We'd probably end up doing something completely stupid like this guy.

I'm sure we could cover compelling topics like the strength of Thor's hammer and how it compares to Ryu's Hadouken. Perhaps we would discuss which fictional characters we would want to marry and that would lead to Adonis explaining how a marriage to an animated character would work.

The end result would be completely useless, a little douchey but probably met with uproarious laughter from listeners and decades of shame from our parents. Pretty much sums up this blog.

The Hunger Games

[EDIT: Changed from animated .gif to poster to reduce page loading time]



BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMM (oh wait)

'Moneyball' Trailer

I remember when Bring It On came out and it was followed in a few years by Drumline and critics said it was like Bring it On for band geeks.

From the looks of the first trailer, The Social Network scribe, Aaron Sorkin, and a few others wrote a screenplay that feels like The Social Network for baseball geeks.

Based on the best-selling book, Moneyball tells the story of Oakland A's manager Billy Beane and how he made a championship contending team for pennies on the dollar using advanced statistics, called 'sabremetrics' in baseball nerd jargon. By ignoring scouting techniques used for over a century, Moneyball and its sabermetric strategies caused a rift in the baseball community between old-school traditionalists and new-school math whizzes.

There are some fair criticisms to be made about Beane's strategies and how much of them actually worked and how much of his success was just luck. What can't be argued against, though, is how sabermetrics have permeated baseball culture, not only through the fantasy baseball game that nerds like Adonis and I play, but in the statistical analysis that takes place in every major league front office.

There was a great article posted last week about "Moneyball 2.0" on Grantland. The writer, Bill Barnwell, detailed how sabermetrics and Billy Beane's notion of "Moneyball" have evolved over the years and how teams have been able to maximize wins against each dollar spent. Worth a read if only because last year's overachieving San Diego Padres are used in nearly every example he uses.

As far as the movie goes, after toiling in development hell for some time, it looks like it has a lot of potential. Nazer and I were huge fans of The Social Network, and I'll watch anything that Aaron Sorkin attaches his name to (The American President is one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time).

There's a fat guy played by Jonah Hill who wows powerful people with his smarts? Lightning fast "walk and talk" dialogue along with nerdy baseball-isms? I'm not sure I can find anything to dislike there.

Our "Comeback" is starting to look more and more like...

I'll chalk it up to everyone being busy...

Ray and friend-of-blog, Oli Bata, are coming up with fresh tracks every Monday as the hip-hop collective, Elevated Masses. Socially conscious lyrics without being pretentious and jazz samples with breezy melodies - music for the people...by the people two guys in a garage.

You can still find Adonis posting on the internets at http://adoniscomplex.tumblr.com/ where he's been featured on Tumblr's sports subpage. After that happened, he refused to acknowledge that he ever wrote here so go ahead and bookmark that address and delete this one.

Nazer hasn't yet joined us hipsters on the Tumblr, but if you haven't already, check out the music page at his website, http://www.nazerlagrimasjr.com/main/music.html. I never knew he added more tracks. Hell, I've been friends with him my whole life and I never even knew he played an instrument.

As for me, I've been doing absolutely nothing. Stay in school, folks...stay as long as you can.

In-N-Out Grand Opening Brings Woman To Tears

This is the kind of local news gold that I'd be posting on my own tumblr if I had one. Former Californian (hell, a Fontanian?) Danielle DeInnocentes sheds tears while stuffing her face at an In-N-Out Grand Opening in Frisco, Texas. We're all ridiculously passionate about food, but this shit is on another level. A quote from DeInnocentes reads as follows:

"I kept saying all night, pinch me, it doesn't feel real. It felt real in there."

FUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH I swear I was about to start crying myself after she said that. She even saved the wrapper! Sigh...I wonder if I'll ever love something that much.

Probably not. But In-N-Out does sound pretty good after all that. In the words of hardcore fatty Gspook, who waited hours in line to be the first customer, "The burger gods have blessed us with an In-N-Out in Texas..."

Amen buddy, amen.

(Story via dallasnews.com)

Why stop at your phone and computer when you can have Google in your kitchen

Google had their annual I/O conference today, where they announced more details on their plan for global domination and introduced new digital soldiers to wage war with their mortal enemy, Apple.

For me, a project to integrate Android into household appliances piqued my interest the most. I did research into how technology like this could help homes be more green in college and with Android's share of the market and how far along existing technology for this use already is, the idea seems like it could only be a few years from being affordable and effective.

Energy in the household could be managed efficiently by allowing home owners to manage temperature in their home remotely, appliances could be turned off when not in use, and garage doors would never be left open while no one was home.

While these green benefits sound great, all I could think about was remotely controlling my oven and the possibility of heating up pizza rolls without ever having to leave my computer chair.

From:

To:

All from my cell phone! The future is near and it will be fat.

Android eating Earth photo via: Gizmodo

Tina Fey got whore'd up for a Jersey Shore spoof

And you won't find any complaints here. God I hope I can look this good when I'm 40 and pregnant. I meant, not that I'm a woman or that I want to be pregnant...you know, whatever the guy equivalent of this would be.

Head on over to Warming Glow for the whole sketch from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

THOR

Needs more rainbow bridges.

"Across the rainbow bridge of Asgard
Where the booming heavens roar
You'll behold the breathless wonder
The God of Thunder,
Mighty Thor!"

Apparently, the Coolest Kids in the Room Are Not Extinct

But these guys are.


I had this post all ready to go until recent news forced me to make a modification to the image.

The ABC show, Dinosaurs, premiered 20 years ago last month. And while I was too young to understand any of the jokes, it was also so long ago that I wouldn't be able to tell you if the show was actually funny. Either way, Dinosaurs was a staple in the weekly TGIF lineup that my family would watch together and sitting all of us down together to watch television for the night was the only way to prevent my brother and me from accidentally killing each other during our nightly wrestling matches (worth a whole post on its own).

Anyways, after it was replaced by Step by Step or Boy Meets World or some other white sitcom that I probably watched, it had a series finale on another network that I never watched. And considering how young I was when I watched the show, I'm glad I never saw it because it is fucking grim.

We all know dinosaurs became extinct eventually and the geniuses behind the show decided to end the show with that. The show spares us from an effects-laden disaster sequence and instead gives us this:

a morose monologue from a remorseful father about the end of the world to his family which includes three young children.

Enjoy!



[Warming Glow]

Happy Star Wars Day...

...though not an actual holiday by any means. It's not the anniversary of Star Wars, or any important date in the mythology, May 4th is crowned as Star Wars day by many simply because of the damn day of the year. May the 4th Be With You. Man I hate that shit.

Anyways, there was a ton of Star Wars Blu-ray ("Star Wars will never come out on Blu-ray...") info released today, which helps to justify the ridiculousness of that phrase just a bit. Reports from theHDRoom say that each disc will include audio commentary from an all star cast, including sound designer Ben Burtt, which is good for me because I'm obsessed, but there's a lot of other neat stuff as well, including some fan service documentaries covering the madness that is Star Wars.

May the 4th be with you...I cringe just typing it. And even worse, Revenge of the 5th, oh my gahhhhhhhh.

Things I Miss From College - Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee

I really miss Dunkin Donuts large caramel mocha iced coffee. Weighing in at 350 calories and 12 grams of fat (if the Nutrition Facts on the Dunkin website are accurate) it's not going to make anyones healthy dietary options list, but this beast of a beverage was a staple in my college years in Boston. It was the perfect compliment to any situation, at any time of the day. Good for the morning caffeine boost, with hangover or without, the "I only have 10 minutes between classes and need something to keep me sane" situation that we all know and love, the "fuck I need to stay awake because I've pushed back my paper till after it was actually due" problem that frequently plagued many a college student, and so much more.

I haven't found anything like it in San Diego. I've tried the local favorites, but really, nothing compares, at all. It's not like I crave or necessarily need a replacement either, but every now and then I most certainly get the itch for a large Dunkin Iced Coffee, and maybe a Boston kreme or chocolate glazed donut on the side (or a pumpkin cake donut if its in season). I guess the memory and this ridiculously exaggerated photo will have to do for now.