BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMM (oh wait)
Showing posts with label badass. Show all posts
Showing posts with label badass. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Hunger Games
[EDIT: Changed from animated .gif to poster to reduce page loading time]
BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMM (oh wait)
BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMM (oh wait)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Super Bowl a victory for Steelers, fatasses
I saw a spot for this promo while watching the Super Bowl 43, although I was a bit skeptical at first (Just like Santonio Holmes’ game-winning “catch”... I kid Steelers fans! har har).
Fortunately, the ad was indeed legitimate, so if you happen to cruise by a Denny’s today, remember to stop by and treat yourself to a Grand Slam breakfast for only Free 99.
Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to enjoy my own Grand Slam, seeing that the deal is only being offered during a ridiculous time slot of 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Don’t they know people will be asleep? I mean c'mon, the sun will still be out.
Speaking of the Super Bowl, I give a half-ass congrats to the winners, the Pittsburg Steelers. What could of been a disastrous meltdown to the Arizona Cardinals turned into an exciting 4th quarter, capped off by the aforementioned touchdown “catch” cleverly pulled off by Holmes.
This photo is taken straight from NFL.com and just so happens to be the only photograph they have that captures the game’s most crucial moment. And what do you know, his legs are cut off! Oh darn, that would of made an awesome picture. Either way, I’m sure the officials got the call right and Holmes did indeed get both of his feet in...
Obvious jealously aside, I am though, happy for their head coach, Omar Epps clone Mike Tomlin, who is one of the handful of Steelers that I’m actually a fan of.
Besides being a talented actor and a badass football coach, Omar Epps/Mike Tomlin might actually be related to the man himself, Charger Ladainian Tomlinson, seeing how their last names are so closely related to each other.
(Tomlin + son = Tomlinson/Son of Tomlin!)
And of course, anyone related to LT, even in the slightest bit, is more than likely a stud themselves.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
President-elect Obama
Back when this blog was still a little toddler, I mentioned in an old post the prospects of a Presidential wannabe named Barack Obama, comparing him to as "if Tiger Woods ran for office."
Over a year later, I find myself owing the man an apology. Tiger Woods may be filthy rich and a great athlete, but after putting them side by side - Tiger Woods really ain't shit standing next to Obama; Now arguably the most powerful man in the world and who I'm pleased to say is the 44th President of the United States.
While you may not agree on his foreign policy plans or his ideas on universal healthcare reform, there's no denying he brings a glitz and glamor to the Presidency that previously, for many years now, was defunct of any style.
Of course, many former presidents brought their own personal charm to the administration, and no disrespect to them - But after 8 years of living with a President (Bush), whose coolest moment was probably dodging a pair of shoes being thrown at him, Obama's beginning of a new Camelot definitely becomes a refreshing makeover.
His current status as the coolest kat on the planet was solidified during his inauguration, as Obama, the young, charismatic, community organizer from Chicago, danced with his wife in elegant fashion, all while Beyonce serenaded them with his classy song choice of "At Last."
Even in his college years, Obama was apparently still one of the coolest kids in the room.
Time to make 2009 a great year.
[Time]
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Monday Morning Buffet: Spring Break Endeavors
■ My Spring Break technically ended last Monday, but due to the nature of the quarter system, which tends to begin each new quarter with a pick-up-your-syllabus week, and due to my pathetic work ethic, I decided to extend my break for a few more undeserving days’ worth of gallivanting.
Even with my self-extended break, I knew I had very little time to accomplish all of the goals I set up beforehand. Naturally, I crossed out what I saw as the least important things on my list of Spring Break Goals, deeming them expendable for time being.
-File my tax return
-Work on my resume
-Clean out room of junk
-Get an oil change for my car
-Attempt to work out again
After setting my priorities straight, I managed to find time for more significant endeavors.
■ Goal #1: Become the greatest fisherman this side of the Pacific.
I haven’t gone fishing since back in the day when I was 7 or so, so I was glad that some of the homies took me out to terrorize the ocean-depths once more.
But after hours worth of fishing, my night ended with a fish count of 0. Zip, nada, ZERO.
On the bright side, I did have a close encounter with a creature that resembled something like this:
Even with my self-extended break, I knew I had very little time to accomplish all of the goals I set up beforehand. Naturally, I crossed out what I saw as the least important things on my list of Spring Break Goals, deeming them expendable for time being.
-
-
-
-
-
After setting my priorities straight, I managed to find time for more significant endeavors.
■ Goal #1: Become the greatest fisherman this side of the Pacific.
I haven’t gone fishing since back in the day when I was 7 or so, so I was glad that some of the homies took me out to terrorize the ocean-depths once more.
But after hours worth of fishing, my night ended with a fish count of 0. Zip, nada, ZERO.
On the bright side, I did have a close encounter with a creature that resembled something like this:
Fortunately for him, I was caught off guard when he fell for the bait, and the creature was able to escape before I had a chance to reel him in. He escaped me once, but next time, he won’t be so lucky...
Result: 0 fish in 5 hours. FAIL.
■ Goal #2: Drink enough to acquire an iron liver.
Besides celebrating multiple birthdays, and drinking on consecutive days, my alcoholic-bound training program also included a round of playing Power Hour.
My urbandictionary.com definition of Power Hour: An evil drinking game conceived by the devil himself, which requires players to take a shot of beer per minute for an entire hour or until tapping out. One notable participant, CommanderCacho of coolkidsroom, has accomplished this feat on numerous occasions.
Even under the tutelage of Lance himself, I only managed to achieve a grand total of 33 shots prior to taking refuge at a toilet, or well, in my case, a plastic bag provided by Ray, before throwing up a Carl’s Jr. Chili Burger.
Result: Barely reaching the half-way mark of Power Hour. FAIL.
■ Goal #3: Become the newest crew member of the JabbaWockeez.
As Nazer mentioned earlier, television is finally back in business with fresh new content, although this previous void of entertainment was fulfilled for me thanks to America’s Best Dance Crew and its recent crowning of the JabbaWockeez as winners of season 1.
After being wholeheartedly inspired by them, and after a few hardcore sessions, I decided to test my skills and take it to the dance floor.
Result: Go clubbing downtown. Attempt to jock on girls using Jabbawockee moves. Look like an idiot. FAIL.
■ Goal #4: Become the greatest singer ever.
O.k. not really, but I just wanted to mention that Miss Ramiele Malubay finally got the boot on American Idol, after what her critics agreed was nothing short of an uninspiring series of lackluster performances. Either way, she's still an idol in my book.
Result: Ramiele Malubay, FAIL.
■ Goal #5: Become the next great baseball phenom.
With baseball season in full gear, my break also consisted of an unhealthy dose of baseball-related activities, including watching games across Major League Baseball, researching and tinkering with my fantasy teams, and enjoying the Padres opening week at Petco Park; highlighted by Jake Peavy’s should-of-been-a-shut-out complete game, and ending with Grandpa Hoffman once again showing his age.
Result: Attempt to prove my worth at the batting cages. Swing away and go 0 for 100. FAIL.
■ Goal #6: Lastly, catch up on movies I’ve been eager to see.
Namely, this meant finally watching the Oscar Winner for Best Picture, the movie No Country for Old Men such as Trevor Hoffman. I’ve been impressed with all of the Best Picture winners for the past several years, from Gladiator in 2000 to The Depated in 2006. Likewise, 2007 was no different.
In fact, I was so impressed with No Country for Old Men, that I decided to make a secondary goal of becoming a badass like the movie’s antagonist, Anton Chiguhr, played by Javier Bardem. Not surprisingly, Bardem won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his memorable performance as the psychopathic killer. However, I also figured that this meant I had to copy his stylish hair-do, in order to achieve such a level of badass-ness.
Even Hannibal Lector and the Terminator couldn't fuck with this guy.
Result: 0 fish in 5 hours. FAIL.
■ Goal #2: Drink enough to acquire an iron liver.
Besides celebrating multiple birthdays, and drinking on consecutive days, my alcoholic-bound training program also included a round of playing Power Hour.
My urbandictionary.com definition of Power Hour: An evil drinking game conceived by the devil himself, which requires players to take a shot of beer per minute for an entire hour or until tapping out. One notable participant, CommanderCacho of coolkidsroom, has accomplished this feat on numerous occasions.
Even under the tutelage of Lance himself, I only managed to achieve a grand total of 33 shots prior to taking refuge at a toilet, or well, in my case, a plastic bag provided by Ray, before throwing up a Carl’s Jr. Chili Burger.
Result: Barely reaching the half-way mark of Power Hour. FAIL.
■ Goal #3: Become the newest crew member of the JabbaWockeez.
As Nazer mentioned earlier, television is finally back in business with fresh new content, although this previous void of entertainment was fulfilled for me thanks to America’s Best Dance Crew and its recent crowning of the JabbaWockeez as winners of season 1.
After being wholeheartedly inspired by them, and after a few hardcore sessions, I decided to test my skills and take it to the dance floor.
Result: Go clubbing downtown. Attempt to jock on girls using Jabbawockee moves. Look like an idiot. FAIL.
■ Goal #4: Become the greatest singer ever.
O.k. not really, but I just wanted to mention that Miss Ramiele Malubay finally got the boot on American Idol, after what her critics agreed was nothing short of an uninspiring series of lackluster performances. Either way, she's still an idol in my book.
Result: Ramiele Malubay, FAIL.
■ Goal #5: Become the next great baseball phenom.
With baseball season in full gear, my break also consisted of an unhealthy dose of baseball-related activities, including watching games across Major League Baseball, researching and tinkering with my fantasy teams, and enjoying the Padres opening week at Petco Park; highlighted by Jake Peavy’s should-of-been-a-shut-out complete game, and ending with Grandpa Hoffman once again showing his age.
Result: Attempt to prove my worth at the batting cages. Swing away and go 0 for 100. FAIL.
■ Goal #6: Lastly, catch up on movies I’ve been eager to see.
Namely, this meant finally watching the Oscar Winner for Best Picture, the movie No Country for Old Men such as Trevor Hoffman. I’ve been impressed with all of the Best Picture winners for the past several years, from Gladiator in 2000 to The Depated in 2006. Likewise, 2007 was no different.
In fact, I was so impressed with No Country for Old Men, that I decided to make a secondary goal of becoming a badass like the movie’s antagonist, Anton Chiguhr, played by Javier Bardem. Not surprisingly, Bardem won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his memorable performance as the psychopathic killer. However, I also figured that this meant I had to copy his stylish hair-do, in order to achieve such a level of badass-ness.
Even Hannibal Lector and the Terminator couldn't fuck with this guy.
After applying some instant hair-growth gel and observing the results, I realized that I had no chance whatsoever of imitating his Beatles’ mop-top, as you can see here:
Result: A nappy-ass fro. FAIL.
■ In retrospect, I guess you can say my Spring Break fell short of expectations, as I failed to accomplish any of my goals that were more than easy to attain. Still, I suppose it was worth the fun and effort. Now that I look back, this post could’ve been the perfect compliment to the FAILURE homie edition, minus the pedophilic attempts and a ridiculously huge bump on the forehead. Now begins another lame attempt to get back into school mode; good luck everyone.
Best,
Adonis
■ In retrospect, I guess you can say my Spring Break fell short of expectations, as I failed to accomplish any of my goals that were more than easy to attain. Still, I suppose it was worth the fun and effort. Now that I look back, this post could’ve been the perfect compliment to the FAILURE homie edition, minus the pedophilic attempts and a ridiculously huge bump on the forehead. Now begins another lame attempt to get back into school mode; good luck everyone.
Best,
Adonis
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Because Chinese Girls can become Men too
With one more final left to go, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to remain focused, especially with lingering thoughts of how awful I performed on my previous tests. Luckily, I’ve found the perfect remedy to alleviate all my depressing thoughts, designed around a fail-proof plan of watching several enlightening youtube videos.
My first source of inspiration is a no brainer; most of you probably watch it right before leaving the house to kick some ass in whatever. If not, it consists of watching Lance’s old post of Jean Claude Van Damme’s classic speech in the movie Street Fighter, which is arguably one of the “Greatest Moments in Cinematic History.” I watch it at a modest 5 or so times in a row, until I start shaking my head like the Indian soldier, and feel so pumped up that I throw my fist up at the end too. I’d watch it a few more times, but my adrenaline rush is usually at its peak by then so I tend to take it easy after that.
Next, I watch an assortment of Steven Seagal action clips, such as this one in the movie “Out for Justice” where he single-handily, TAKES OUT THE TRASH!!
Steven Seagal is fucking awesome. Not only does he display some handy shotgun work, and blasts someone’s leg off, but on top of that, he makes short work of a fat guy with just one fucking judo kick to the gut. While this clip doesn’t really pertain to finals, and probably has absolutely no inspirational value whatsoever unless you too, are out for some street justice, I still think its pretty badass nonetheless.
If Van Damme and Steven Seagal isn’t enough to pump me up and get me back to studying, I resort to another well-known source of motivation, inspired by the recent Disney theme.
From Disney’s Mulan: “I’ll make a man out of you!”
Thanks to the historical accuracy of Mulan, I now know how it feels to be a Chinese recruit back in the day; and it must’ve really sucked, with such absurd standards just to get through boot camp. Shooting 3 apples in mid-air with a bow while still hitting the target – Getting stoned while balancing a bucket of water on your head – Dodging a hail of flaming arrows - Having to break a stone slab – Are you fucking serious?? But hey, if this is what Mulan had to go through, there’s no reason for me to give up on studying, finals, or just school in general for that matter. If a young Chinese women can transform into a dude overnight, I too, can do the same… and perform well on my last test.
My first source of inspiration is a no brainer; most of you probably watch it right before leaving the house to kick some ass in whatever. If not, it consists of watching Lance’s old post of Jean Claude Van Damme’s classic speech in the movie Street Fighter, which is arguably one of the “Greatest Moments in Cinematic History.” I watch it at a modest 5 or so times in a row, until I start shaking my head like the Indian soldier, and feel so pumped up that I throw my fist up at the end too. I’d watch it a few more times, but my adrenaline rush is usually at its peak by then so I tend to take it easy after that.
Next, I watch an assortment of Steven Seagal action clips, such as this one in the movie “Out for Justice” where he single-handily, TAKES OUT THE TRASH!!
Steven Seagal is fucking awesome. Not only does he display some handy shotgun work, and blasts someone’s leg off, but on top of that, he makes short work of a fat guy with just one fucking judo kick to the gut. While this clip doesn’t really pertain to finals, and probably has absolutely no inspirational value whatsoever unless you too, are out for some street justice, I still think its pretty badass nonetheless.
If Van Damme and Steven Seagal isn’t enough to pump me up and get me back to studying, I resort to another well-known source of motivation, inspired by the recent Disney theme.
From Disney’s Mulan: “I’ll make a man out of you!”
Thanks to the historical accuracy of Mulan, I now know how it feels to be a Chinese recruit back in the day; and it must’ve really sucked, with such absurd standards just to get through boot camp. Shooting 3 apples in mid-air with a bow while still hitting the target – Getting stoned while balancing a bucket of water on your head – Dodging a hail of flaming arrows - Having to break a stone slab – Are you fucking serious?? But hey, if this is what Mulan had to go through, there’s no reason for me to give up on studying, finals, or just school in general for that matter. If a young Chinese women can transform into a dude overnight, I too, can do the same… and perform well on my last test.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
A Political Booster Pack: Conservative Edition!
coolkidsroom presents…
Your Political Starter Kit
A Political Booster Pack: Series 1
SUPER fucking TUESDAY was yesterday, essentially narrowing down the list of plausible nominees for both parties. My dumbass however, failed to put the spotlight in my starter kit on two Republican candidates who are currently, now front-and-center in the Presidential race. So, for all you conservatives out there…
A Political Booster Pack: Series 2
Conservative Edition! Collect them all!!
MITT ROMNEY:
Supposedly, his supporters claim he is the reincarnation of former President Ronald Regan, something Republicans can feel all warm and giddy about as they wet their beds at night. An experienced businessman, Romney has led and invested in many successful companies, and also took over and saved the 2002 Winter Olympics from financial disaster. He also has a younger brother named Peter, and apparently has the ability to fly.
He was also a former governor of Massachusetts, and himself being a Mormon, that has to count for some shit for being able to run a state filled with crazy Irish Catholics. His critics, however, often point out his willingness to adapt his position on certain issues depending on what state he’s campaigning in. The current host of Def Comedy Jam, D.L. Hughley, jokingly mentioned Romney, saying “I thought the movie ‘Transformers’ was about a robot, but apparently it’s about this motherfucker here!”
JOHN MCCAIN:
He is quite literally the walking dead, as this guy is fucking 70 years old already. Regardless if he can manage to live past the primaries, he is the closest thing to Rambo you’ll ever see for a Presidential candidate.
A former Navy pilot, McCain grew some balls of steel after he fought in Vietnam, where he was shot down and forced into a POW camp where he was beaten, starved, and tortured before being released after 5 fucking years. If one can imagine, that’s like being trapped forever in a Pho restaurant without ever eating the delicious PHO, and the waiters despise you because you asked for a fork. Now that’s some shit.
Once regarded as the ‘maverick’ within the party for his liberal tendencies, he is currently the front-runner for the Republican nomination and supporters argue he is the best hope for Republicans come November, whether facing Hillary or Obama.
McCain, suffering after years without eating any Pho.
Your Political Starter Kit
A Political Booster Pack: Series 1
SUPER fucking TUESDAY was yesterday, essentially narrowing down the list of plausible nominees for both parties. My dumbass however, failed to put the spotlight in my starter kit on two Republican candidates who are currently, now front-and-center in the Presidential race. So, for all you conservatives out there…
A Political Booster Pack: Series 2
Conservative Edition! Collect them all!!
MITT ROMNEY:
Supposedly, his supporters claim he is the reincarnation of former President Ronald Regan, something Republicans can feel all warm and giddy about as they wet their beds at night. An experienced businessman, Romney has led and invested in many successful companies, and also took over and saved the 2002 Winter Olympics from financial disaster. He also has a younger brother named Peter, and apparently has the ability to fly.
He was also a former governor of Massachusetts, and himself being a Mormon, that has to count for some shit for being able to run a state filled with crazy Irish Catholics. His critics, however, often point out his willingness to adapt his position on certain issues depending on what state he’s campaigning in. The current host of Def Comedy Jam, D.L. Hughley, jokingly mentioned Romney, saying “I thought the movie ‘Transformers’ was about a robot, but apparently it’s about this motherfucker here!”
JOHN MCCAIN:
He is quite literally the walking dead, as this guy is fucking 70 years old already. Regardless if he can manage to live past the primaries, he is the closest thing to Rambo you’ll ever see for a Presidential candidate.
A former Navy pilot, McCain grew some balls of steel after he fought in Vietnam, where he was shot down and forced into a POW camp where he was beaten, starved, and tortured before being released after 5 fucking years. If one can imagine, that’s like being trapped forever in a Pho restaurant without ever eating the delicious PHO, and the waiters despise you because you asked for a fork. Now that’s some shit.
Once regarded as the ‘maverick’ within the party for his liberal tendencies, he is currently the front-runner for the Republican nomination and supporters argue he is the best hope for Republicans come November, whether facing Hillary or Obama.
McCain, suffering after years without eating any Pho.
fucking posers.
**In other news, the rockstar Obama is in close pursuit of the Clinton political machine, and things can get decisively nasty for Democrats as the final primaries wrap-up.
**In other news, the rockstar Obama is in close pursuit of the Clinton political machine, and things can get decisively nasty for Democrats as the final primaries wrap-up.
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