Super Bowl a victory for Steelers, fatasses

I saw a spot for this promo while watching the Super Bowl 43, although I was a bit skeptical at first (Just like Santonio Holmes’ game-winning “catch”... I kid Steelers fans! har har).

Fortunately, the ad was indeed legitimate, so if you happen to cruise by a Denny’s today, remember to stop by and treat yourself to a Grand Slam breakfast for only Free 99.

Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to enjoy my own Grand Slam, seeing that the deal is only being offered during a ridiculous time slot of 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Don’t they know people will be asleep? I mean c'mon, the sun will still be out.

Speaking of the Super Bowl, I give a half-ass congrats to the winners, the Pittsburg Steelers. What could of been a disastrous meltdown to the Arizona Cardinals turned into an exciting 4th quarter, capped off by the aforementioned touchdown “catch” cleverly pulled off by Holmes.

This photo is taken straight from NFL.com and just so happens to be the only photograph they have that captures the game’s most crucial moment. And what do you know, his legs are cut off! Oh darn, that would of made an awesome picture. Either way, I’m sure the officials got the call right and Holmes did indeed get both of his feet in...

Obvious jealously aside, I am though, happy for their head coach, Omar Epps clone Mike Tomlin, who is one of the handful of Steelers that I’m actually a fan of.

Besides being a talented actor and a badass football coach, Omar Epps/Mike Tomlin might actually be related to the man himself, Charger Ladainian Tomlinson, seeing how their last names are so closely related to each other.

(Tomlin + son = Tomlinson/Son of Tomlin!)

And of course, anyone related to LT, even in the slightest bit, is more than likely a stud themselves.

Chargers make fans, fatasses happy with win

Leave it to the Chargers to keep our spirits high and our stomachs filled. In celebration of the Bolts toppling the Colts on Sunday, Rubio's is serving free fish tacos with the accompanied coupon.

I love Rubio's fish tacos. I could eat them all day. Wahoo's and all the other poser-ass fish taco joints don't got shit on Rubios. I think I've maxed out at 6 tacos in one sitting.

A year or two ago, Rubio's started offering the choice between the O.G. corn tortillas and a new, disgusting flour tortilla for their fish tacos. Even though I'm a dieing breed, I still prefer the corn tortillas while it seems like everyone else hopped on the evil flour bandwagon. Yuckk.

Remeber your roots. CORN>FLOUR!!

[Rubio's]

Farewell Chargers/Constance...

It's the classic tale of David and Goliath; the big, bad bully picking on the little guy, or in a more contemporary comparison, like Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller battling it out in the movie “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story!” (Note: one of the greatest movies of all time, IMO.)

Only in this case, the seemingly invincible juggernaut known as the New England Patriots were not embarrassed by a dashing, archetypal hero of the ages, but rather, by a goofy, awkward looking, sissy-man sometimes referred to as Elisha. It couldn’t have ended any better.

To think, after growing up reading inspirational literature and listening to the wise words of elders, 10 years from now I might have had to tell my children… “Son, nobody’s perfect… except Tom Brady." And to think, only 3 points made the difference between worshipping the Patriots as demi-gods, to arguably one of the biggest upsets in sports history. For any football fan, the amazing story of the Patriot’s fall-from-grace, in combination with one hell of a game, proved that Super Bowl XLII was indeed a memorable one.

...Unless of course, your one of the many disgruntled Chargers fans. While there was much to be proud of this season (i.e. the emergence of Antonio Cromartie, reaching the AFC Championship, etc.), there’s no question that the result of the New York Giant’s victory on Sunday left a bittersweet end to things. For instance, the fact that Eli Manning, the too-good for San Diego quarterback, now boasts a Super Bowl ring, after defeating a team the Chargers had an opportunity to beat themselves... But hey, at least Chargers fans can take comfort in the fact that Boston is probably up in flames right now.

On a personal note, it has also come to my attention that I’ve been stubbornly holding on to a certain Charger Girl for way too long, and her tenure as my wallpaper is way overdue. With the 2007-08 NFL season pretty much in a denouement, I must accept the cold, harsh, reality that the football season is over, and her place on my desktop is no longer necessary.

This is a sad day indeed, but I feel it’s only appropriate that I share the wealth and make one last, fitting tribute in her full-glory. Enter, CONSTANCE... (and schedule). Enjoy.



With that out of the way... Fuck you Eli, good season Chargers, farewell Constance.

GAME DAY BABY...

believe...

CRY MORE NOOB

Weekend Wrapup:


Chargers kick ASS

Give credit to the Chargers’ and their photographers, this picture is a masterpiece. Poor Vince Young, I can almost see the tears swell up in his eyes as he holds his fatass runningback ever so gently. I get the notion that after the game, Philp Rivers, being a dick as usually, ran with his notorious trash-talking mouth for another week in a row… He must’ve said some really mean things, as it appears Lendale White got his feelings hurt pretty bad as he rushed to cry on Young’s shoulder. “Don’t worry baby, he can’t hurt you anymore…”

While I am a firm believer in sportsmanship and conducting yourself with a sense of “class” like good ol’ LT, San Diego’s triumph over the Tennessee Titans could make me care less. While this matchup at the Q wasn’t the most impressive or prettiest of wins, (e.g. LT managed only 42 yards on the ground and Antonio Gates became a casualty of war after stubbing his big toe) it was a satisfying PLAYOFF victory, nonetheless, and there’s much more to be overjoyed about along with this win.

Mainly, my jumping for joy and cheap shots towards Titans fans stems from the fact that a San Diego sports teams has finally gotten over this time-honored San Diego tradition of teasing with a promising regular season, and then LOSING disastrously early on in the playoffs, as recent history of the Chargers and Padres suggest. Likewise, a loss would’ve thrown the city in chaos, as this defeat would’ve coupled with the Padres' pathetic meltdown (this day sucked) to the Colorado Rockies only a few months earlier, resulting in impending dark times for San Diego. Besides being shited on by the media, the coaching situation would be in disarray, A.J. Smith’ life in jeopardy, the crime rate would rise, the economy in shambles, and for some reason there’d be another crazy wildfire.

Of course, one could argue that the REAL matchup is still to come, as the Chargers head to Indianapolis to play against the defending Super Bowl Champs. The Colts present a stiff challenge for obvious reasons; Unlike Vince Young, Peyton Manning is white and actually knows how to pass. Plus, the Colt’s boast a respectable D, (allowed the fewest point per game and ranked 3rd as an overall defense) and will have the porn star-mustached tight end, Dallas Clark, as well as Manning’s partner-in-crime wide reciever, Marvin Harrison, both available at his disposal.

Regardless of the tougher matchup, I hope to see a lot of this next Sunday: