This is why Rock Band was invented...

Then again, this is why cover bands are still great:

Why I didn't own a dog as a kid...

[The Internet is Terrible]

Because Chinese Girls can become Men too

With one more final left to go, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to remain focused, especially with lingering thoughts of how awful I performed on my previous tests. Luckily, I’ve found the perfect remedy to alleviate all my depressing thoughts, designed around a fail-proof plan of watching several enlightening youtube videos.

My first source of inspiration is a no brainer; most of you probably watch it right before leaving the house to kick some ass in whatever. If not, it consists of watching Lance’s old post of Jean Claude Van Damme’s classic speech in the movie Street Fighter, which is arguably one of the “Greatest Moments in Cinematic History.” I watch it at a modest 5 or so times in a row, until I start shaking my head like the Indian soldier, and feel so pumped up that I throw my fist up at the end too. I’d watch it a few more times, but my adrenaline rush is usually at its peak by then so I tend to take it easy after that.

Next, I watch an assortment of Steven Seagal action clips, such as this one in the movie “Out for Justice” where he single-handily, TAKES OUT THE TRASH!!



Steven Seagal is fucking awesome. Not only does he display some handy shotgun work, and blasts someone’s leg off, but on top of that, he makes short work of a fat guy with just one fucking judo kick to the gut. While this clip doesn’t really pertain to finals, and probably has absolutely no inspirational value whatsoever unless you too, are out for some street justice, I still think its pretty badass nonetheless.

If Van Damme and Steven Seagal isn’t enough to pump me up and get me back to studying, I resort to another well-known source of motivation, inspired by the recent Disney theme.

From Disney’s Mulan: “I’ll make a man out of you!”



Thanks to the historical accuracy of Mulan, I now know how it feels to be a Chinese recruit back in the day; and it must’ve really sucked, with such absurd standards just to get through boot camp. Shooting 3 apples in mid-air with a bow while still hitting the target – Getting stoned while balancing a bucket of water on your head – Dodging a hail of flaming arrows - Having to break a stone slab – Are you fucking serious?? But hey, if this is what Mulan had to go through, there’s no reason for me to give up on studying, finals, or just school in general for that matter. If a young Chinese women can transform into a dude overnight, I too, can do the same… and perform well on my last test.

SO HORDE!

your political STARTER KIT!!

You'll be seeing this guy's face less and less.

Yeah, yeah, even though the primaries aren’t taking place for several more months and the actual presidential election isn’t for another year, I felt it was a suitable time for an update on all the oh-so exciting political action so far, especially with the remaining plausible candidates narrowing down or getting weeded out.

Sadly, I do admit; I guess I consider myself a political junkie, cursed with a fascination for politics and law and all that other “crap” that probably isn’t all-too attractive for a guy my age. Still, the process, the issues, the laws, and all the other-related crap interest me.

Regardless of any sort of interest, I still believe that it’s important for even us “kids” to be socially aware, to be knowledgeable, and to be conscious about what’s going on in the world. It’s arguable though, that our little San Diego bubble is distant from the subject matter – and in a realistic perspective, we could care less.

However, to deny the enormous impact the new President will have in our daily lives, and how his (or her..) administration’s decisions will trickle down and affect us in one way or another, is simply being borderline ignorant. Or at the very least, at least know that there will soon be a new President.

While trying to be as non-subjective as possible, here’s a few of the front-runners (note: this could obviously change) that are the favorites to replace George Bush and his 8-year reign. No doubt, their faces will plague your television, the internet, and will continue to haunt you as election day draws closer.

The Democrats:

Hillary Clinton.



Obviously, if you’re not ready for a woman to hold possibly the most powerful position on Earth, or if you’re simply a male-chauvinistic pig like A.C Slater, then Hillary isn’t for you.

She is well qualified regardless, and albeit her political career is full of controversy, she is the current favorite to carry off with the Democratic nomination, although she faces a difficult uphill battle to make it to the White House. I personally wouldn’t mind seeing a woman in power, and females already hold an enormous power over guys anyhow, so nothing new… As a bonus, Hillary is basically a 2-for-1 deal, with former President Bill Clinton also by her side as the First Lady..Man..Husband.. or something. (If your memory if vague, just try and remember how happy you were growing up and how things were in the 90’s.)

Or, you could just watch this Family Guy clip for some help.




Barack Obama.





Obviously, if you’re a Neo-Nazi or in the KKK, or for some reason just don’t like black people, then Obama isn’t for you. And no, that's not Obama in the picture, but his hottie-sidekick, Obama Girl, who was featured in a popular youtube video in support of him, complete with a catchy tune.



Its important to note that while he’s identified as African-American, he is also considered not African-American at the same time. Confusing?? Look at it like this; his father is an African immigrant, his mother is white, and he didn’t exactly grow up somewhere like in Atlanta doing the A-town stomp. I think of him as if Tiger Woods ran for office. Nevertheless, he’s a likable guy, represents progression, and would fair well in international relations, especially in the Middle-East. Plus, he has hotties like Obama Girl backing him up. Good deal.

The Republicans:

Mike Huckabee.



To sum it up, this guy has been lights-out so far, becoming more and more popular with conservatives, and one of the top favorites for the Republican nomination or as a perfect running-mate for Vice-President. Opponents are desperately trying to find dirt on the guy or waiting for him to fuck-up soon. He’s charming, has personality, and actually has a sense of humor that is desperately needed.

Hell, even Chuck Norris openly endorses the guy. Now that’s cool.

“Chuck Norris doesn't breathe.. he holds air hostage.”

Rudy Giuliani.

Dubbed “America’s Mayor,” and if I’m not mistaken, Giuliani is the leading front-runner to win the Republican nomination according to the latest polls. On a strategic standpoint, Giuliani is the best hand for the Republicans to play – his moderate to liberal viewpoints, his similarities with Democrats on certain issues, and his reputable history of being mayor of New York City, would effectively split the Democratic vote, giving an edge to the Republicans if things get decisively tight.

Sadly, he is an evil Yankees fan, and an unfaithful one at best according to this clip, though he covers himself here pretty well.

There are other potential Presidential nominees for the Republicans and Democrats, respectively, which ive failed to mention, including Mitt Romney, John McCain, and John Edwards, and many others who probably won't make the cut in the long run. Oh well.

On a side note, its important to remember that while personality is an important aspect to look at, its the issues, (yeah right who really does that) and how each candidate puts their take on it, which should take precedent over everything else. (ideally) So whatever matters to you - focus on that, and cross your fingers and hope that these candidates keep their promises. (HAH!)

Best,Adonis

I could use some of THIS during finals week

Most of you have probably seen this already but I don't care. This video makes me wannna buy some monsters or amps and get loaded off that shit but then I'll probably get the BG's and get even less studying done.

Speaking of the BG's, I apologize to Jay and to the big white guy on my other side during the In4MatX (it's realy abbreviated that way) 111 final. Those sounds were probably very distracting to you, and trust me, they were just as uncomfortable for me. God, I felt like I was gonna explode. My stomach felt like a hot dog in the microwave that was about to blow up because it's been cooking too long.

I could've gotten an A in that class, but if it doesn't end up happening, blame the Lean Cuisine Chicken Tuscan Panini.


Which, by the way, is probably my least favorite of the Lean Cuisine Panini selection, though pretty good on its own merits. I will be sure to put something else down on my dad's commissary list next week. Something like this old standard:


These things don't even taste like pizza but I swear by their addictive goodness and so do many other Lance house veterans.

Shoot me a comment about your favorite frozen snack so I have something for my stomach to dream (I was gonna put "masturbate to" but I guess 3 in a row would've been too much) about while I study.