Why the COOL KIDS should NEVER think about becoming famous...

In light of Adonis' recent expose on Ramiele's naughty pictures, and how they will likely be blown out of proportion by the media, I thought it'd be interesting to take a look at an alternative universe. In this strange world, we are all famous, and this is what some of our picture scandals would look like complete with an excerpt from the accompanying article

RAY

Renowned spoken word artist and writer, Ray, will have to answer lots of questions after a photo surfaced of him with the finest in fufu drinks in hand. Usually known for his raging masculinity, fans are bewildered by what appears to be his love of Parrot Bay.

but it gets worse

ADONIS

Popular newspaper columnist, Adonis, could be facing a potential scandal after a man who claims to be an ex-boyfriend of his released pictures of what he claims to be Adonis' pre-buttsex ritual of wearing tight thermals and taking "homosexual looking pictures". The man's identity is unknown and he simply goes by the alias, 'Seadonkey'.

but the most scandalous of all

LANCE

Competitive eating champion, Lance, is embroiled in a high profile scandal with what appears to be a homosexual relationship with star Philadelphia Soul Tight End, Nelson, of the Arena Football League. Seen here with his supple titties being passionately grabbed by the football star, this incident could put his eating career in jeopardy. Rumors have surfaced of a picture involving some kind of menagerie with columnist, Adonis.

And by rumors, I mean we have it right here.



In conclusion, I never want to be fucking famous. I advise all the young'ns to never drink if you don't want dumbass pictures of yourself on facebook. Fuck the media. Fuck alcohol. And fuck Nazer for not having one embarassing photo in my pictures album.

Ramiele Malubay, EXPOSED

A Cool Kids Room Exclusive... The Ramiele Malubay Scandal!

The current pride of the PI, Ramiele Malubay, is apparently in some “deep shit.” Recently, there has been a set of controversial pictures floating around on the internet which critics claim, jeopardize her capacity on American Idol. Several gossip sites, such as this one, have been leaking the photos, commenting on its ‘scandalous’ and risque nature.

Disclaimer: What you’re about to see is not for the faint of heart. If so, I advise you to put the kids to bed, cover your eyes, and skip to the next section, for they represent the worst of the human condition. These shocking photographs prove that Ramiele is past any chance at redemption, and her standing as a contestant on American Idol is, without question, inexcusable.




OMG!

...And yeah… back to reality – I really hope I catch a segment on Fox News about this “scandal,” or get to hear Bill O’Reilly rant about how unforgivable these photos are, and even better, hear him denounce Ramiele and complain about how she should be kicked off the show. “There is no reason she should be on American idol! – Do you want Ramiele being a role model for your children?? – This is un-American!” Then, after the program, they’d follow up with a special investigation story on the state of the Philippines, making sure to mention that the country is full of terrorists plotting to kill Americans; Then, they’d run another special segment, “Filipino youth in America - Where is this country headed?”

Moreover, it seems a lot of the other contestants this season have made headlines due to their ‘controversial’ backgrounds. One of the other top 12 finalists, David Hernandez, allegedly used to work at a gay strip club as a bartender and performer.

But this supposed Ramiele Malubay scandal reminds me a lot of a similar situation a few years back, when Fantasia Barrino won American Idol. The controversy stemmed from revelations that she was a high-school dropout, a 19-year-old single mother, and rumored to be illiterate. Critics, haterade drinkers, and those still living in the 1950’s were concerned that she was a poor role model for youth and her background was ‘unfit’ for a proclaimed American Idol.

While I can agree that being a high-school dropout and illiterate is far from being in the best of circumstances, I thought it was uncalled for and disrespectful to judge her based on her history, especially how the media hyped it up. Whether you want to blame black people, the government, or runaway fathers – that’s just the reality of America; not everyone grows up in the ideal or fabricated America where everyone lives behind white picket fences. Perhaps she is a reflection of America in the 21st century, although some people ignore the fact that people like Fantasia do exist, and ignore the truth that not everyone can live by that expected American standard.

To me, while I’m not much of a fan of her singing, have utmost respect for Fantasia for being able to put up with all that shit. Also, her being a single-mother and still being able to pursue her dreams as an artist is something to be much-admired. More power to her.

And back to Ramiele... it will be ridiculous if the media hypes up the story to the extreme; although if I was her, I wouldn’t be too worried. In all certainty, those leaked photos might actual help her in the voting. So to Ramiele, keep on reppin, and good luck tonight. (you are hot by the way.)