Monday, July 16, 2012


In order to survive and to bring in some sense of order to the foul abyss, excuse for a bachelor pad/frat house that was The Condo, many rules were established. Here are a few of those rules. 

Condo Rule #12:

When using AIM, always remember to sign off

Condo Rule #35:

If Condo Owner gets angry after discovering that you ordered a dozen premium, On Demand movies for $9.99 each, always blame Martino.

"But Alex, why would I watch 'Because I Said So' with Mandy Moore? It had to be Martino!"

Condo Rule #29:

Being the environmentalists we are, Vicente and I noticed that with each passing day, The Condo was single-handedly destroying the earth. As a result, we campaigned to make The Condo more eco-friendly. 

Follow "The Condo Green Initiative!"

  • Remember to recycle your 40oz.
  • Dispose of all cigarette butts in any of the many, designated Taco Bell soda cups
  • To save energy, limit the number of computers/laptops/gaming consoles/tablets constantly running throughout the day from its usual 10 to 5
  • If you have to pee, remember to use the toilet

(Note: "The Condo Green Initiative!" failed miserably)

Condo Rule #43:

Move with caution on the patio to avoid knocking over any bongs or hookahs.

"Dammit fool! That's the 2nd bong you broke this week!"

Condo Rule #15

Keng's alarm clock will go off at exactly 4:00am. If you are still drinking, smoking, playing video games, singing karaoke, actually trying to sleep -- remember that you must physically go into his room and wake him up yourself -- otherwise, his alarm will go on FOREVER.

Condo Rule #86

Do not throw up in the sink or bathtub. The sink is meant for stacking cups and dishes that will never be washed. The bathtub is a place to put the keg and to pass out, only.

Condo Rule #1

Most importantly...

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

If you are attempting to invite any females to The Condo, you are required to give at least an hour's notice before bringing them over. The homies must be given ample time to turn off all video games, clean up their shit and appear somewhat presentable; failing to do so will result in catastrophic embarrassment and a consequential beatdown for yourself.