Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Internet Make Me Stupid

(Fuckn Trebek)

It is a little known fact, that of the cool kids I have by far the worst.....wait or is it worse. Maybe its the wortsest? Fuck, i'll just google it. What I'm trying to say is my grammar bad. I can't spell worth shit and  I sweat profusely over the "their"s, "there"s, and "they're"s.  Scratch my head over the age old battle between "your"s and "you're"s.  And all I can think of is "FUCK FUCK FUCK." As far as I know semi colons and colons help produce shit. Well, in all honestly, I take about 5 minutes after writing a post and just say fuck it.

But really though, the Internet has indirectly made me paranoid about typing anything.  So much so, that in conversations through text or instant messaging I will intentionally choose a different word to use in order to avoid using the initial word that popped into my head, but mainly out of fear of looking like a jackass.  I am less confident in my ability to spell 6 letter words at the age of 25 than at the age of 10. I second guess every other key stroke as if the world would come to an end if that (mother fucking) red squiggly line appears underneath my words. You know you might be doing something might be wrong with the world if you still can't spell "tomorrow" on your first try.

Knowing that I can simply plug in my questionable choice of words into a search engine handicaps me as an adult.  It's like being prone to epileptic seizures and having to wear a helmet everywhere you go.  Or like having crutches with me when I exercise like I'm planning on twisting my ankle.  I am a child  wearing the body of an out of shape 25 year old.  Oh and I hate typing out the spelling of numbers because I realize when I type out numbers like 8 for a split second I look at the word and go "wait thats not right." Gone are the days where I can confidently search something on the Internet and feel empowered by information at my finger tips. Now is the time where google questions my every move with Did You Mean(to feel like a dipshit)s or suggests what I want to search before I finish typing because I'm a useless human being.  Maybe I should have got hooked on phonics like dem white kids did in the 90's.