Super Bowl a victory for Steelers, fatasses

I saw a spot for this promo while watching the Super Bowl 43, although I was a bit skeptical at first (Just like Santonio Holmes’ game-winning “catch”... I kid Steelers fans! har har).

Fortunately, the ad was indeed legitimate, so if you happen to cruise by a Denny’s today, remember to stop by and treat yourself to a Grand Slam breakfast for only Free 99.

Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to enjoy my own Grand Slam, seeing that the deal is only being offered during a ridiculous time slot of 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Don’t they know people will be asleep? I mean c'mon, the sun will still be out.

Speaking of the Super Bowl, I give a half-ass congrats to the winners, the Pittsburg Steelers. What could of been a disastrous meltdown to the Arizona Cardinals turned into an exciting 4th quarter, capped off by the aforementioned touchdown “catch” cleverly pulled off by Holmes.

This photo is taken straight from NFL.com and just so happens to be the only photograph they have that captures the game’s most crucial moment. And what do you know, his legs are cut off! Oh darn, that would of made an awesome picture. Either way, I’m sure the officials got the call right and Holmes did indeed get both of his feet in...

Obvious jealously aside, I am though, happy for their head coach, Omar Epps clone Mike Tomlin, who is one of the handful of Steelers that I’m actually a fan of.

Besides being a talented actor and a badass football coach, Omar Epps/Mike Tomlin might actually be related to the man himself, Charger Ladainian Tomlinson, seeing how their last names are so closely related to each other.

(Tomlin + son = Tomlinson/Son of Tomlin!)

And of course, anyone related to LT, even in the slightest bit, is more than likely a stud themselves.

This commercial makes me want to run through a goddamn brick wall

By now we've all seen this TV spot for Nike every Sunday. The photography, the Ennio Morricone song in the background, everything is spot on. As if you don't see it enough on television, here it is so you can come here every morning to get your blood pumping for the day.

The Gayest Post of All-Time

A couple months ago, the Cappletini posted her Top 10 Female crushes. Well here you have it, in no particular order, Lance's MAN CRUSHES:

USHER

When he's not going crazy during interviews or having a diva moment during a guest performance, Usher is holding it down as the most consistent solo R&B act over the last year ten years. My second time seeing him live last night (hope you saw my mug on TV cause Alexand did) confirms that yours truly probably gets a little too excited for a performance by someone who is not a stripper at Cheetahs.

INDIANA JONES

I was tempted to just put Harrison Ford but realized he is quite boring in real life and even though Han Solo is one of my favorite movie characters of all time, he managed to get himself frozen in carbonite. Indy on the otherhand would have delivered a right cross to Vader, and would have dropkicked Boba Fett's ass into the freezer on his way out because that's how he rolls. This guy is everything I want to be: he's smart, witty, has mad game (always gets the girl), and can kick ass.

LaDainian Tomlinson

The face of the franchise that I care most about, LT is probably the best thing to happen to San Diego football. Sure, he's the league's best all-around running back, but you're leaving out a smile that lights up the room, a charming southern accent, and that "aw-shucks" sense of humility. Let's just hope that the real LT shows up this season and not the LADAIKNEEIN-JURY from last year's playoffs. (-1 for poor pun)

I better stop now before I start second-guessing my sexuality anymore than I already am.