Thursday, January 10, 2013

Cry Baby

My last post in here was in 2011 and up until today I all but, forgot about the existence of the cool kids. But here goes nothing... 

Try for a second to recall the last time you, as a man, Cried. Be it ugly cry (like the video above) or a moment when even a single tear rolled down your cheek. The first things that may come to mind is some form of loss, physical pain, heartbreak and maybe even joy.  But for most men, it would seem the idea of crying is taboo.  Now take a moment and recall the last time you forced yourself not to cry. Maybe watching a heartfelt scene in a movie or replaying the best will smith crying scene ever.  Often times we hold back tears to appear stronger to others or to simply set an example for our sons, little brothers, nephews, etc. of what is expected of men.

I've seen maybe one of our own cool kids cry, but I won't mention any names, lets just say his name rhymes with badonis. Truth is it isn't anything to be ashamed of. I myself can't say that many of my boys have seen me cry, maybe at most a handful.  And on the other hand, I can count the amount of close homies I've seen shed tears themselves.  Believe it or not, as manly a man as I am today, I was once a cry baby. I know CRAZY right.

"You're not a girl! You're a boy! And boy's aren't supposed to cry" is what my family would say when they locked me in the bathroom, in the dark till I would shut up.  No wonder I have abandonment issues and an overall fear of being alone.  Thanks Mom & Dad!  In the world we live in we associate crying to weakness.  Bitch shit, as some would say.  We are pressured in so many ways to be stern and show no emotion. As I previously mentioned, we even will go as far as to hold back tears and stop them in their tracks.  And internally we force those emotions and feelings into a powder keg, that forces us to possibly have uncalled for outbursts.  Lashing out at the people closests to us, our partners, family and friends.  Quite possibly the same people who over the years pushed those tears and feeling further into our souls.

(G Baby not knowing he gon' die and shit. GOD WHY??? TAKE REEVES! TAKE HIM INSTEAD!)

I don't mean to place a veil of sadness on this blog, but my intention is to share something I've learned in the past year.  And thats that sometimes, it's ok to weep and ugly cry Anne Hathaway style a la Les Miserables while singing "On my own." Let that snot build up in your nose it's all good. Just take a  moment every so once and awhile and think of something sad and just let it go.  Cry for the ones you've lost and for all the times you held it back. Watch the movie Hard Ball starring Keanu Reeves and watch G Baby get shot and ball your eyes out.  There shouldn't have to be only a few key moments in a man's life where it is socially acceptable to cry. In a lot of ways when you put in perspective how much you've been told in your life that crying is for pussys, the act in itself is an act of defiance.  Fuck raising fists, burning flags and claiming to be down with your feminine side.  Shed tears player, it's empowering.  

- Just Ra


  1. Fantastic post. Loved it!