Let's stay together...

RE: Regarding Our Decision To Not Blog Here Anymore

Dear Cool Kids and Cool Kids family (i.e. Not so small talk), 

I'm writing this letter in hopes that this will get to you guys, someway, somehow. This is really hard for me right now, so I'll try and be brief. But I admit; I spent the past few hours outside, staring up at the night sky, with only the the stars to keep my company... Just now, I've been pacing back in forth in front of my computer, glaring at the screen, hoping this page would fill up with words by itself. But I'm here now, so I must finish what I started...

Ray, Nazer, Lance -- I know I had left you guys. Even worse, I left without saying goodbye. It was like a breakup without closure, or having some fun and not calling the next day, with no regard for your feelings at all. Yes, it was wrong of me; but I was young, stupid, immature, without any sense of what I was leaving behind.

But I had too... I had to get out of our relationship. I felt trapped. For too long, I felt like I bullshitted as a Cool Kid. We goofed off, made fun ourselves and joyfully hurt the ones we love. But I had to explore on my own, had to see the world, had to discover what was beyond the Coolest Kids in the Room, and grow up as a person, and also try and write more "seriously." Then the years went by, and I had moved on; a Cool Kid enjoying himself in self-imposed exile.

But really... it was all a facade. The supposed, newfound happiness was forced. There'd be nights where I'd toss and turn in bed, feeling miserable; alone, empty. I'd turn on my computer and load up coolkidsroom, going through the archives and looking back on old posts, constantly checking behind my back as if I was trying not to get caught. It was like re-reading old texts, or going through old pictures; reminiscing until the point where I had to close my laptop shut because the tears in my eyes would get too unbearable.

I miss it. The sarcasm, the randomness of topics, the clowning on homies, the bad ms paint pics, the bukkake, even the more relevant issues we wrote about; I miss it all. I miss what we all shared together, and I want it back. Just remember all the good times we've had. We can be great together, again. I just hope you can forgive me...

But I'll say, this indefinite hiatus of mine, is no more. This blog, The Coolest Kids in the Room, is where I'm meant to be. Like Ray said, "Being in a polyamorous blogging relationship with all of you was like something I've never felt before." I feel the same way. I want to be together again. I believe in second chances, but I'd like to believe as if we never broke up at all. We can work this out. Let's stay together.

We've all come so far:

"If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was..."

Please come back...

- Adonis

Watchmen is not your ordinary Fanboy popcorn flick: A Review & Spoilers

**WARNING! SPOILER ALERT!!

Thanks to my Hollywood hook-ups (aka MCAS Miramar), I got the chance to catch a special showing of Watchmen this past Sunday, so for the time being I get to play the role of a hard-to-please movie critic.

Watchmen, however, did not disappoint one bit. I had never come across the comics/graphic novel before, but even as a standalone product, the film easily turned me into a fan. After watching one of the greatest movie trailers back in July during The Dark Knight, and after a long wait as the release date kept getting pushed back, Watchmen nevertheless lived up to all the fanboy hype and much more.

Be prepared, though, for a lot of slasher-esque violence you typically found in horror films, with limbs getting chopped off, skin melting, people getting vaporized and exploding into gory bits and pieces – lots of fun stuff. Be also prepared for a lot of nudity, as the Blue Man Group (Dr. Manhattan) decides to spend most of the movie fully exposed and casually showing off their glowing goods. The main female character in the movie, Silk Spectre, takes her clothes off too, so I guess that balances things out for those of you worried about two hours of blue dick on screen.

Those issues aside, I wouldn’t actually consider Watchmen your standard “comic book movie,” like what has been popular in Hollywood for some time now (i.e. Fantastic Four, Transformers, Ironman), or at least in a general fanboy sense. Sure, it includes plenty of fanboy elements that would please any theater full of nerds – lots of fight scenes, sex, explosions, cool superhero costumes – but in reality, Watchmen deals with much more serious and mature themes that makes it way more sophisticated than the average ‘origin-of-superhero-to-defeating-villain’ formula.

War, propaganda, politics, crime, morality; even more interesting is how the Watchmen story re-imagines and deconstructs the whole superhero genre, creating an alternate history where costumed vigilantes exist in society and explores how they deal with real-world issues. (If a bunch of guys decide to disguise themselves and rob a bank, why can’t someone decide to dress up themselves and stop them?) The Watchmen universe is just as interesting, set in a 1985 America where Nixon is still President, the war in Vietnam lasted only one week (thanks to Dr. Manhattan.) and is now the 51st State, and Cold War tensions with the Soviet Union is about to reach its breaking point.

What I also really enjoyed about Watchmen was how it featured an ensemble cast of “superheroes,” and the ambiguity that came with attempting to define the true protagonist and antagonist of the storyline – especially at the end of the film, as the audience gets to decide who they relate to more, and there really is no right or wrong position to take. (Sort of like the set-up of the Iliad/Troy, and how you could argue “Achilles/Brad Pitt is the shit – No way man, Hector/Eric Bana is way cooler,” etc.)

This is probably what makes Watchmen such a good film and separates it from all the other comic book movies out there; by already having a complex, quality narrative anchoring it, the people making the film version of it would really have to fuck up to make it suck.

Of course, not taking away from the work of director Zack Snyder (300) and his crew, as his often surreal visual style seemed like a perfect fit for the premise and setting of Watchmen. The CGI and action scenes were on point, and while the acting was a little dry at times, the cast still played their roles well enough to highlight the distinct qualities of each of their characters. I also thought the use of popular music throughout the film was done quite nicely, with some pre-emo and hippie 60’s music thrown into the mix like Simon & Garfunkel and Janis Joplin. I would even consider the opening credits my favorite part of the movie, as a montage setting up the alternate history of the Watchmen world is shown, with Bob Dylan - The Times They are a-Changin’ playing in the background, all to great effect.

Hopefully, even with all the fanboy hype, positive reactions to Watchmen will help reshape the current stereotypes of comic books and the superhero genre, inspiring new possibilities and spurring more interest in similar, lesser known comics of its nature. Regardless, Watchmen simply reminds me why films are truly the art form of today and the future.

“The Superman exists, and he is American.”

EMO: Farewell Grandpa Hoffman

It's Official.

Unlike high school, rumors in Major League Baseball are mostly true - Trevor Hoffman will no longer be closing/blowing games for the San Diego Padres. What seemed like a perfect match, evidenced by a warm, loving relationship that lasted over 15 years, ended in a dramatic break-up after last season, with the Padres front office and Hoffman walking away from each other bitter and angry.

I was always hoping that the couple would work out their differences (apparently Hoffman felt disrespected and the Padres felt he was a gold digger and getting lousy on the mound) and kiss & make up, but at this point it seems like both sides have moved on for good; especially Hoffman, who has already found a rebound in the Milwaukee Brewers.

On September 27th of last year, with only two games left to finish a terrible season, I was fortunate enough to watch the Padres beat the Pittsburgh Pirates 3-2 at Petco, a game highlighted by Hoffman closing out the top of the 9th in a quick, 1-2-3 inning. That officially would be Hoffman's last save and appearance of 2008.

While I had a feeling that night might of been that last time I would get to witness Trevor Time, (there was already rumors flying around that he could retire) I never imagined he would ever pitch for another team.

The prospect of THE Trevor Hoffman wearing an alien uniform, without SD on his cap, and the idea of "AC/DC - Hell's Bells" being played in another stadium makes me want to throw up.

Lots of good (and sometimes bad) memories watching Hoffy play, but the one memory that easily comes to mind definitely has to be in 2006, when I was lucky enough to witness his 478th save at San Diego, also putting him on top as MLB's all-time saves leader. I remember the place going nuts as I fumbled around with the camera, trying to capture the historic moment.

Blah, I guess I jinxed myself into this heartbreak.

Fuckin Padres: On Life Support? (May 1, 2008)

Save for another playoff run, Hoffman has little more to prove or show for, as he already leads the All-time Saves list, a milestone that took 15 years in the making. Regardless, Trevor Time and the days of hearing Hell’s Bells ring in San Diego, not to mention watching one of the most dominant closers in baseball history play, are running short.

Sigh.

There is of course, much more to be said about the 2nd greatest player in Padre's history, (or the greatest player in Padre's history, if you happen to be a Tony Gwynn hater) but it'll have to wait; the news is still fresh and the emoness has already kicked in...

Fuckin padres man.

[San Diego Union Tribune]

TEAM CACHO DEFEATS TEAM DONDON IN 5K OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

The Official Times:

Last month’s epic battle between Team DonDon and the evil Team Cacho resulted in a heartbreaking loss for the boys in orange and neon-green, with Lance and his cronies managing to avoid the upset as they narrowly defeated Team DonDon by 1 second.

Battered by injuries, distractions, and locker room malcontent, Team DonDon apparently could not hold things together during the much-anticipated 5k event, despite Olympic-esque efforts by all-star runners Judd “White Power” Judd and Lu “Flying High” Lu, both of whom finished with record times.

“They had no chance whatsoever,” Cacho muttered, as he bit down into his victory Ultimate Cheeseburger after the race. “There are winners and losers in life… and Team DonDon is a loser!”

The extended 1.5 mile stretch of the race proved disastrous for both teams however, as the course itself was littered with numerous fast-food establishments that kept both teams on their toes and their stomachs grumbling. 7-11, Jack-in-the-Box, McDonalds, Burger King, and In-n-Out became a common sight and a legitimate threat for runners attempting to maintain a steady pace.

“It was driving me crazy,” said Omar of Team DonDon. “Everywhere I’d run there’d be fast-food workers cheering me on, holding out water and telling me to take a break. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

The $2 Ultimate Cheeseburger deal, combined with the unbearable heat, lack of preparation, and a poor outing by their Team Captain eventually led to Team DonDon’s downfall. Still, Judd remained optimistic, praising the team’s tremendous effort in the midst of such overwhelming odds.

“We thudave beatth thum.” he said.

Team Captain DonDon was apparently unavailable for comment following his team’s defeat. Teammates described him looking “heartbroken,” and “emo,” not even saying a word when times were announced. He was last seen headed to La Jolla Cliffs with a guitar in hand, blasting Daphne Loves Derby from his car as he drove off into the distance. His current whereabouts are unknown at the time.

Social Injustice!!! (o.k. not really, but yeah)

Last night I drove around by myself for hours… I guess it was one of those nights where I just needed to be alone. Before finally arriving home I looked up to the sky and cried “What is wrong with this world!??” Then I proceeded to cry myself to sleep…

A great social injustice just occurred – and no, I’m not referring to the homelessness and uninsured in America, or the constant violence in the Middle East, or the thousands of children dieing as civil war plagues Africa, or even to the fact that New Orleans remains in no better shape than it was after Hurricane Katrina struck. No, these trivial things I mentioned are insignificant compared to the wrongdoing that transpired last night…

Yes, you know what I’m talking about. You’re probably tearing up just as I am right now… But don’t be discouraged, I too, feel your pain. But yeah, something is truly wrong with the world now and days…

This is hard for me to even type, but on last night’s episode of America’s Best Dance Crew, the girls from Fysh n Chicks were… VOTED OFF.

“This is absurd! That’s ridiculous!” I know, I know, I couldn’t digest the news myself. I could barely watch as A.C. Slater declared that their “banner must fall.” Sure they’ve survived on the bottom of the voting for most of the show, and sure they’re a little sloppy, and dull at times, and not quite nearly on the same level as Jabbawockeez or Kaba Modern – but that’s not the point. Should i even watch this show now? Should I start a boycott?? But no matter what, they’re gone, thanks to another group, ON ROLLER SKATES.

aka BreakSk8. Apparently there’s more than just corn in Indiana – theres douchebags on wheels.

Fuck you BreakSk8. Fuck you.