Monday Morning Buffet

“99 Cent II Diptychon," Andreas Gursky

■ You can always rely on coolkidsroom to provide you with up-to-date info concerning fatty affairs, so in recent news:

Taco Bell is now selling their Supreme Gorditas for only 99 cents. I love Taco Bell as much as real Mexican food, although after years of eating double-deckers and Mexican pizzas, I’ve come to realize that everything on the Taco Bell menu tastes exactly the same. Sure, it might come in burrito form, or they might throw a curveball at you and shape it like an octagon, but at the end of the meal the only thing that was truly different was the appearance. Not to take away from the deal or anything, because I still fucking love it.

My inside sources also tell me that Golden Spoon is giving away free frozen yogurt on Saturday, March 1st. I don’t know why, maybe it’s their anniversary or national yogurt appreciation day, but who gives a shit. Free-99!

■ To my amazement, the girls from FYSH N CHICKS survived another lackluster week on America’s Best Dance Crew, which means at least one more week of watching KOI FISH in action. Yes, that statement was probably borderline stalker-status, but I’m just glad to know that my 50+ texts last week made a difference in the voting.

■ The REAL love of my life though, Tina Fey, hosted Saturday Night Live this past weekend as part of the first episode of SNL since the end of the Writers Strike. Given that the majority of the entertainment industry has virtually been on hiatus for the past 3 months, it's good to know that Hollywood is back in business and everyone’s favorite shows (and Tina Fey, i.e. 30 Rock,) are back in production. Unless for some reason you were a loyal fan of “BIONIC WOMAN,” which got the axe recently, you’ll have to wait for something else to appeal to your peculiar tastes.

■ I came across a list of short news one-liners in the UCSD paper, The Guardian, this morning, and in particular, I found one quite amusing. It simply read:

Thursday, Feb. 21
10:03 a.m.: Medical aid
--A 19-year-old male needed medical attention after taking “several shots.”

Go Tritons!

■ With the advent of the American version of Super Smash Bros. BRAWL soon approaching, my goal for this week is to somehow get my hands on a Nintendo Wii, no matter what the cost! Since Brawl is a completely new game with a number of differences from its predecessors, I swear I’ve been having nightmares of getting owned by everyone and never, ever, winning a Smash Bros. match for the rest of my life. Without a Wii of my own, I’m doomed.

■ After several months of speculation, the political scene and the bid for the Presidency has finally narrowed down to three, solid candidates. With all the pretenders weeded out of the race, it’s safe to say that the only serious contenders left are Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain. Regardless of who wins, it will be a historic moment for either blacks, women, or the undead.

Best,
Adonis