The Dates Are Set

Just wanted to let the world know that I'll be in San Diego from June 22nd to August 2nd. See all you coolkids later.

You Were Throwin' Pebbles

8:28 AM, eastern time. I just finished unpacking all of my things. The apartment is empty, all the lights were off, all of the electronics were unplugged, and since I was the last to leave, it's exactly the way I left it. When the plane landed in Boston, I looked out the window to see snow and some fat white guys, and that pretty much sums up Boston right there.

There is literally no food in my apartment. I don't know if I should just go to sleep and rest up a bit, or if I should watch more of the Today Show then just suck it up and go throughout my day. I have to deposit some checks, buy some groceries, then watch a bunch of TV and just prepare for school.

My winter break was ridiculously awesome. I got to hang out with everyone in SD, eating a ton of food, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, singing along to every guys iPod playlist including Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga, and admiring the San Diego weather. One thing I love about going home is everyone's always down to drink a shitload, get messed up, and have a good time. Follow that with some fatty Mexican food and seriously life doesn't get much better, and I'll miss it.

I have no idea when I'll be coming down next. I love being home, but when I'm there I seriously get no work done, so I guess it's a just balancing act that I'll have to figure out. So thanks for the good times everyone, till next time.

Chargers make fans, fatasses happy with win

Leave it to the Chargers to keep our spirits high and our stomachs filled. In celebration of the Bolts toppling the Colts on Sunday, Rubio's is serving free fish tacos with the accompanied coupon.

I love Rubio's fish tacos. I could eat them all day. Wahoo's and all the other poser-ass fish taco joints don't got shit on Rubios. I think I've maxed out at 6 tacos in one sitting.

A year or two ago, Rubio's started offering the choice between the O.G. corn tortillas and a new, disgusting flour tortilla for their fish tacos. Even though I'm a dieing breed, I still prefer the corn tortillas while it seems like everyone else hopped on the evil flour bandwagon. Yuckk.

Remeber your roots. CORN>FLOUR!!

[Rubio's]

California Love

Amidst a historical election between a black man and the walking dead, California voters may get so into the presidential race that it may be easy to forget about legislation happening back home.

Fear not however, because after weeks of anticipation and constant research, I've compiled an in-depth guide to answer any questions regarding what will appear on California's ballot. Due to complex nature and the number of controversial issues surrounding each proposition, this guide is quite dense with information, so I must apologize in advance if it appears overwhelming.

A Cool Kids California Voter's Guide:

Prop 1: Something about super high-speed railways?

Prop 2: Allows chickens and other farm animals to breath, stretch, shake it, before you eat them

Prop 3: I dunno

Prop 4: Requires permission/notification before an abortion

Prop 5: Overhaul of sentencing and rehabilitation for nonviolent drug offenders

Prop 6: Mo money for the Po's

Prop 7: Something about funding green technology... could be wrong

Prop 8: A discriminatory law that takes away fundamental rights.

Prop 9-12: Not sure, lost my booklet.

Some SD Affairs:

Prop B: Opens up parts of San Diego's waterfront for development

Prop D: Further bans booze on beaches. Boo!

Happy Voting!

Congratulations Philadelphia

The Philadelphia Phillies beat the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in the conclusion of their postponed Game 5 to win the World Series. I guess for Tampa Bay it was more like...postPWNED right? anyone? Fine then...

Cole Hamels is your World Series MVP. Cole is an alumnus of Rancho Bernardo High School. My brother had the honor of watching him play Mt. Carmel during his high school days. I don't think anyone I watched at Nelson and Alexand's football games became famous, but I did get to watch Aaron bodyslam a motherfucker on his head, and I guess that's better than watching a future World Series MVP.

As much as it pains me to watch another team that's not mine hoist a championship trophy, it's nice to see a city that hasn't won in a while finally get it done because I always think that people will think the same thing if we can somehow win a Super Bowl before the Chargers leave San Diego (joke!).

Philadelphia has only been in a "drought" for 25 years though, so if the sports gods feel something is owed to us, I'm sure it's coming soon! Maybe like Philly, it might come in the form of a World Series Championship.







Nevermind...

...And Away We Go

To: Lance, Ray, Adonis
From: Nazer

I don't mind plane rides anymore. Actually I haven't for a while now. Whenever people talk about airlines you always hear about lost luggage, crappy food, boring programming, and while all of those in fact do occur, I guess I've grown accustomed to them all.

After a long, long summer in San Diego, it's finally time to head back east, to a place where Boston sports rule the world, and mexican food (at least the way we like it) is non existent. It was an incredibly enjoyable summer, basically the ultimate four month vacation. I had my fair share of my three staples, good food, good music, and good company. Happy hour wherever in the afternoon then Santanas at night put a fat dent in my wallet and bank account, but the laughs along the way make it all worth it. Celebrating a ton of 21st birthdays, all with their own crazy stories, plus Irvine trips and Comic-Con help to complete the package.

But what did I get done in terms of work over Summer? One could say absolutely nothing. I watched a bunch of movies and television shows, listened to a ton of music, fooled around with software and played more piano this summer than I have in, well, forever. The balance of fun to (what I call) work resembled a one-sided seesaw this Summer, but honestly it doesn't really matter. We may be in college, we may be trying to forge our way into a stumbling economy, and even though our IDs say we're adults, we're still kids. We talk about video games, we fill our mouths with junk food, and I love it. I figure while we're still in school, live it up, the harsh and unavoidable real world will come eventually.

I'm looking forward to being back in the city. Being able to walk literally everywhere is a luxury that you learn to appreciate, and with the overwhelming amount of heat down here some cold air will be gladly accepted. So good luck in school, to Lance Ray and Raeizon go wild this week, and I'll see you all this holiday season, thanks for the good times.

Fuckin Padres: On life support?

Fuckin Padres. 5 weeks into the season, it comes to no surprise that the San Diego Padres are exactly where they left off last year… as LOSERS. Currently the freaky friars sit on a pathetic 11-17* record, struggling to gain a foothold in a competitively-agonizing division that’s characterized by some of the worst offensive numbers as a team, and by a lackluster bullpen led by none other than Grandpa Hoffman himself, only one-year removed from being one of the best in baseball.

In all fairness, many of our players aren’t living up to their full potential as evidenced in the past. Likewise, there remains much baseball left to be played, meaning things can turn around for the Pads in a hurry as long as the Swinging Friar can lay off the Asian girls. Still, temper your expectations going forward, as it seems the team is still hungover from last season’s heartbreaking debacle. Fuck you Matt Holliday, fuck you.

Why you should still be keepin’ the faith

Jake Peavy and Mark Prior


If there is one player on the Padres that can carry the team on his back and single handily lead them to another playoff berth, it has to be the 2007 Cy Young Winner and home-grown hero Jake Peavy. You really have to feel bad for the guy though – all he does is go out there and pitch brilliantly, even hitting better than half his teammates, but ends up having to watch his team go to shit time and time again. Still, I have confidence that his demi-god powers alone will salvage the Padres season from total embarrassment.

Off-season addition Mark Prior also boasts superhuman powers like Peavy, being a dominant hurler and owning batters with an impressive arsenal of power pitches... but that was 5 long years ago. Since then, the San Diego native has been plagued by injuries and bad luck, and is currently rotting away on the disabled list in hopes of returning by mid-summer.

There is hope though, even if he is made of glass. The Padres have always worked well in developing their pitching staff, and if Prior can return to even a shell of his former self would be huge; his 2003 numbers alone were on par with Peavy’s Cy Young campaign of last year. Thus, Prior is the Padres’ low-risk high-reward secret weapon; capable of improving an already quality starting rotation as long as he and stella can get their groove back.

Trevor Hoffman and Greg Maddux


2008 may also be the last opportunity to watch two of baseball’s all-time greats and future Hall-of-Famers, Grandpa Hoffman and Grandpa Maddux, respectively, both of whom just recently joined AARP. The two of them are only signed through this season, so whether they choose to retire, or move on to another team, or if the Padres decide to re-sign them, is still up to much speculation.

My guess with Mad Dog is he’ll still pitch for one or two more years at most before moving on to his Professional Poker career, but not in a Padres uniform – most likely with an eager team in serious contention as quality starters are becoming hard to come by. Also, because the pricy Maddux has been playing since the end of the Cold War, re-signing him seems very unlikely, especially for the stingy-minded Padres.

On the bright side, Maddux seems to have taught his young grasshopper Peavy everything he knows, so his work in San Diego is complete. But despite being at the end of his career, don’t let his goofy appearance fool you; Maddux is still the grand wizard of pitching, and still amazing to watch even as a senior citizen.



Hoffman on the other hand, is someone that I feel will finally hang up the glove by season’s end. While he had a terrible April last year as well and still ended the season with elite numbers, he and his signature leg kick no longer strikes that same fear into batters as it once did. Also, now that his ‘fastball’ is the same velocity as his changeup, his ability to close games is becoming more of a coin-flip than the sure-thing of the past, which is painful to watch for any fan. Of course, no Padres fan wants to see the San Diego favorite call it quits, but even then I’d rather see him retire and bring some stability back to bullpen, and at least not in another team’s uniform.

Save for another playoff run, (which the Padres should be able to pull off this season...) Hoffman has little more to prove or show for, as he already leads the All-time Saves list, a milestone that took 15 years in the making. Regardless, Trevor Time and the days of hearing Hell’s Bells ring in San Diego, not to mention watching one of the most dominant closers in baseball history play, are running short.

*Note: O.K. so we did win yesterday, but the opposing pitcher is also an old geezer like Hoffman and Maddux - hopefully it’s a positive sign of things to come.

It’s You Got Served, IN REAL LIFE!

I have the feeling that any real dance team would kick my ass for comparing them to Marques Houston and Omarion’s ridiculous, over-hyped, over-dramatic, pathetically acted out movie, You Got Served!, which sadly, I still enjoyed nonetheless.

Luckily, former fat fuck Randy Jackson, of American Idol fame, is premiering his new show on MTV later tonight, called, America’s Best Dance Crew!, which seems much more convincing.

I actually never watch MTV for the most part, BUT, A.C. Slater is master of ceremonies AND, San Diego is being represented by the group JabbaWockeeZ, and UCI by Kaba Modern. While I’ve seen Kaba Modern perform a few times, I’ve honestly never heard of jabbawockeez until watching them in the audition episode, which pissed off my friend Jordan quite a bit. Shit, I couldn’t even pronounce their name at first. JabbaJabba? Jabba the Hut?

While I don't know jack-shit about choreography, I thought they looked good.




Confession: In spite of the the San Diego and Orange County connections, I’m actually rooting for another west coast team… FYSH N CHICKS. Yes, it’s fucking sad. Don’t’ get me wrong though, it’d be nice to see either Jabba and Kaba advance in the series, but I have my non-gay reasons for rooting for an all-feminist team who refuse to wear revealing apparel and instead wear baggy clothing to cover up… go figure.

Namely, I have a crush on one the dancers… KOI FISH!

Yeah don’t hate. I’m rooting for her tonight as well. Just watch when she is introducted (00:36 mark), and you’ll be in like too, guaran-fuckin-teed.

Behold!


“SHE’S YAPANESE!” Falls in love, the end.

Farewell Chargers/Constance...

It's the classic tale of David and Goliath; the big, bad bully picking on the little guy, or in a more contemporary comparison, like Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller battling it out in the movie “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story!” (Note: one of the greatest movies of all time, IMO.)

Only in this case, the seemingly invincible juggernaut known as the New England Patriots were not embarrassed by a dashing, archetypal hero of the ages, but rather, by a goofy, awkward looking, sissy-man sometimes referred to as Elisha. It couldn’t have ended any better.

To think, after growing up reading inspirational literature and listening to the wise words of elders, 10 years from now I might have had to tell my children… “Son, nobody’s perfect… except Tom Brady." And to think, only 3 points made the difference between worshipping the Patriots as demi-gods, to arguably one of the biggest upsets in sports history. For any football fan, the amazing story of the Patriot’s fall-from-grace, in combination with one hell of a game, proved that Super Bowl XLII was indeed a memorable one.

...Unless of course, your one of the many disgruntled Chargers fans. While there was much to be proud of this season (i.e. the emergence of Antonio Cromartie, reaching the AFC Championship, etc.), there’s no question that the result of the New York Giant’s victory on Sunday left a bittersweet end to things. For instance, the fact that Eli Manning, the too-good for San Diego quarterback, now boasts a Super Bowl ring, after defeating a team the Chargers had an opportunity to beat themselves... But hey, at least Chargers fans can take comfort in the fact that Boston is probably up in flames right now.

On a personal note, it has also come to my attention that I’ve been stubbornly holding on to a certain Charger Girl for way too long, and her tenure as my wallpaper is way overdue. With the 2007-08 NFL season pretty much in a denouement, I must accept the cold, harsh, reality that the football season is over, and her place on my desktop is no longer necessary.

This is a sad day indeed, but I feel it’s only appropriate that I share the wealth and make one last, fitting tribute in her full-glory. Enter, CONSTANCE... (and schedule). Enjoy.



With that out of the way... Fuck you Eli, good season Chargers, farewell Constance.

CRY MORE NOOB

Weekend Wrapup:


Chargers kick ASS

Give credit to the Chargers’ and their photographers, this picture is a masterpiece. Poor Vince Young, I can almost see the tears swell up in his eyes as he holds his fatass runningback ever so gently. I get the notion that after the game, Philp Rivers, being a dick as usually, ran with his notorious trash-talking mouth for another week in a row… He must’ve said some really mean things, as it appears Lendale White got his feelings hurt pretty bad as he rushed to cry on Young’s shoulder. “Don’t worry baby, he can’t hurt you anymore…”

While I am a firm believer in sportsmanship and conducting yourself with a sense of “class” like good ol’ LT, San Diego’s triumph over the Tennessee Titans could make me care less. While this matchup at the Q wasn’t the most impressive or prettiest of wins, (e.g. LT managed only 42 yards on the ground and Antonio Gates became a casualty of war after stubbing his big toe) it was a satisfying PLAYOFF victory, nonetheless, and there’s much more to be overjoyed about along with this win.

Mainly, my jumping for joy and cheap shots towards Titans fans stems from the fact that a San Diego sports teams has finally gotten over this time-honored San Diego tradition of teasing with a promising regular season, and then LOSING disastrously early on in the playoffs, as recent history of the Chargers and Padres suggest. Likewise, a loss would’ve thrown the city in chaos, as this defeat would’ve coupled with the Padres' pathetic meltdown (this day sucked) to the Colorado Rockies only a few months earlier, resulting in impending dark times for San Diego. Besides being shited on by the media, the coaching situation would be in disarray, A.J. Smith’ life in jeopardy, the crime rate would rise, the economy in shambles, and for some reason there’d be another crazy wildfire.

Of course, one could argue that the REAL matchup is still to come, as the Chargers head to Indianapolis to play against the defending Super Bowl Champs. The Colts present a stiff challenge for obvious reasons; Unlike Vince Young, Peyton Manning is white and actually knows how to pass. Plus, the Colt’s boast a respectable D, (allowed the fewest point per game and ranked 3rd as an overall defense) and will have the porn star-mustached tight end, Dallas Clark, as well as Manning’s partner-in-crime wide reciever, Marvin Harrison, both available at his disposal.

Regardless of the tougher matchup, I hope to see a lot of this next Sunday:

time to get into that CHRISTMAS spirit...

Since we live in season-deprived San Diego, most of us never had to suffer through blizzards, shoveling snow, raking leaves, or having to root for hockey; in sum, a lot of us don't even know what the hell snow is in the first place. Unfortunately, since we'll never get the opportunity to experience the giddy-ass feeling of waking up one morning and seeing snow falling through your window, its sometimes difficult to determine or to get that wake up call that CHRISTMAS, yep, good ole' Christmas, is just around the corner.

Fear not, they're other ways to help you get into that holiday-mood and realize that its finally time to get those gifts you've been procrastinating to buy. One of my favorite indicators is simply on the radio, or mainly, the fact that stations tend to start playing all that wonderful, catchy, Christmas-related themed music, 24/7.

Damn, there’s no better way to get into that Christmas spirit than listening to xmas jams. Really, who can resist listening to Sleigh Ride, Last Christmas, or Boyz II Men’s – Let it Snow. (Of course, I’m ignoring the fact that all those non-Americans & non-Christians could probably care less about Santa’s fatass.) Nonetheless, if there's one thing to love about the Christmas season, it definitely has to be the music.

Recently however, as I was driving, blasting KxKy 96.5 and singing along to my old favorite, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, it came to my attention to how fucked up, or more specifically, how ridiculous Rudolph’s situation is with his supposed reindeer homies in the North Pole.


"Sorry Rudolph, but you're a loser."

With a closer look at the lyrics, it seems that the ONLY reason that Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Blitzen, and all those other fuckers even like Rudolph in the first place is simply because lovable reindeer-pimp Santa Claus suddenly takes a liking towards him. “Then all the reindeer loved him…” Fuck that, Dancer and Prancer are full of SHIT. One second they’re playing too-cool and hatin’ on poor Rudolph, then all of a sudden they’re sucking his d***.

Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe the lyrics are intentional, and instead, supposed to be some sort of eye-opening criticism on our society today, pointing at the fact that we still continue to discriminate and prey on the little guy. Sadly, Rudolph could essentially be that kid in high school that everyone made fun of...


Ex: Roughly, the human equivalent of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Regardless, I’m not trying to boycott the song or anything like that, but rather, it brings to my attention on how some of us fail to realize the content of the songs (or any kind of art/media outlet) we enjoy listening to. Take the Mother Goose example for instance; they teach us her nursery rhymes in kindergarten, but have you realized how twisted and perverted a lot of her crap is? Just look at Three Blind Mice – now that’s some sick, violent, fucked-up shit.

While I can’t disagree with the concept that musical lyrics are often times supposed to be interpretive, in some instances there's no sort of ambiguity. For example, take the popular criticism of mainstream rap music that’s always mentioned – most of its content is derogatory and disrespectful to women, (Chris Rock makes a valid point about this, with "PUT A DICK IN HER EAR!!") yet females who act "ladylike” and demand for respect and for guys to be gentlemen, still LOVEEE to dance and shake their asses to this shit.

Nothing wrong with that either - Really, its all for fun, and I for one see the fun in dancing, in spite of the criticism. So please ladies, dance away. Hell, if there’s anything better than singing along to xmas jams, it has to be dancing to Lil Jon/Too Short – Shake that Monkey! and having a girl grind up on you.

Good luck on finals everyone, Christmas is almost here.

Best,
Adonis