time to get into that CHRISTMAS spirit...

Since we live in season-deprived San Diego, most of us never had to suffer through blizzards, shoveling snow, raking leaves, or having to root for hockey; in sum, a lot of us don't even know what the hell snow is in the first place. Unfortunately, since we'll never get the opportunity to experience the giddy-ass feeling of waking up one morning and seeing snow falling through your window, its sometimes difficult to determine or to get that wake up call that CHRISTMAS, yep, good ole' Christmas, is just around the corner.

Fear not, they're other ways to help you get into that holiday-mood and realize that its finally time to get those gifts you've been procrastinating to buy. One of my favorite indicators is simply on the radio, or mainly, the fact that stations tend to start playing all that wonderful, catchy, Christmas-related themed music, 24/7.

Damn, there’s no better way to get into that Christmas spirit than listening to xmas jams. Really, who can resist listening to Sleigh Ride, Last Christmas, or Boyz II Men’s – Let it Snow. (Of course, I’m ignoring the fact that all those non-Americans & non-Christians could probably care less about Santa’s fatass.) Nonetheless, if there's one thing to love about the Christmas season, it definitely has to be the music.

Recently however, as I was driving, blasting KxKy 96.5 and singing along to my old favorite, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, it came to my attention to how fucked up, or more specifically, how ridiculous Rudolph’s situation is with his supposed reindeer homies in the North Pole.


"Sorry Rudolph, but you're a loser."

With a closer look at the lyrics, it seems that the ONLY reason that Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Blitzen, and all those other fuckers even like Rudolph in the first place is simply because lovable reindeer-pimp Santa Claus suddenly takes a liking towards him. “Then all the reindeer loved him…” Fuck that, Dancer and Prancer are full of SHIT. One second they’re playing too-cool and hatin’ on poor Rudolph, then all of a sudden they’re sucking his d***.

Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe the lyrics are intentional, and instead, supposed to be some sort of eye-opening criticism on our society today, pointing at the fact that we still continue to discriminate and prey on the little guy. Sadly, Rudolph could essentially be that kid in high school that everyone made fun of...


Ex: Roughly, the human equivalent of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Regardless, I’m not trying to boycott the song or anything like that, but rather, it brings to my attention on how some of us fail to realize the content of the songs (or any kind of art/media outlet) we enjoy listening to. Take the Mother Goose example for instance; they teach us her nursery rhymes in kindergarten, but have you realized how twisted and perverted a lot of her crap is? Just look at Three Blind Mice – now that’s some sick, violent, fucked-up shit.

While I can’t disagree with the concept that musical lyrics are often times supposed to be interpretive, in some instances there's no sort of ambiguity. For example, take the popular criticism of mainstream rap music that’s always mentioned – most of its content is derogatory and disrespectful to women, (Chris Rock makes a valid point about this, with "PUT A DICK IN HER EAR!!") yet females who act "ladylike” and demand for respect and for guys to be gentlemen, still LOVEEE to dance and shake their asses to this shit.

Nothing wrong with that either - Really, its all for fun, and I for one see the fun in dancing, in spite of the criticism. So please ladies, dance away. Hell, if there’s anything better than singing along to xmas jams, it has to be dancing to Lil Jon/Too Short – Shake that Monkey! and having a girl grind up on you.

Good luck on finals everyone, Christmas is almost here.

Best,
Adonis