Top 3 Coffee Pairings

Lately, my coffee habit has grown nearly out of control. Caffeine headaches abound, even if I wake up in the afternoon, I'm fienin' for a cup of joe (why the fuck is it even called 'joe'). It is one of the many things that I consider myself a slave to (others include alcohol, porn, and carne asada, but we'll save those for another entry).

As I sit here with a slice of mud pie ice cream cake and a black cup of Folger's finest French Roast before my 4pm lab section, I've come up with the Top 3 Coffee Pairings.

3. Sausage McMuffin

McDonalds breakfast pwns. The only other fast food breakfast item that I ever crave is the Cotijas Hash Brown burrito, but even then, I enjoy the burrito better for lunch or dinner. But for breakfast, it has to be McDonalds. I will even take McDonalds breakfast over Dennys or IHOP at times. You better make it to the golden arches before 10:30 am or you're assed out, so McDonalds breakfast is a rare treat for me.



The Sausage McMuffin is one of the original Mickey D's breakfast items and an old standby that I come back to. It's a simple yet harmonious sandwich which I recreate at home all the time. A fattier version of the ham-based Egg McMuffin, the subtly spicy patty goes better with a hot cup of coffee.

2. Good ass Dessert or Pastry



While I enjoy my coffee loaded with sugar and cream as much as the next person, a black cup of coffee is an underappreciated treasure, and serves as a perfect compliment to a sweet dessert or pastry. The bold yet rich bitterness of a good cup of black coffee simply enhances a good coffee cake or donut.

1. Cigarette


The official Cool Kids Breakfast of Champions is a grit and a cup of coffee. I quit smoking a while ago, but I still long for one more drag, hopefully accompanied by a sip of coffee. The hot java and the smoky grit go hand in hand in starting a great day. The combination gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, as well as a reason to go to the bathroom.

I swear the cigarette enhances the laxative properties ten fold. Fuck I have to take a shit just thinking about this.