Why the COOL KIDS should NEVER think about becoming famous...

In light of Adonis' recent expose on Ramiele's naughty pictures, and how they will likely be blown out of proportion by the media, I thought it'd be interesting to take a look at an alternative universe. In this strange world, we are all famous, and this is what some of our picture scandals would look like complete with an excerpt from the accompanying article

RAY

Renowned spoken word artist and writer, Ray, will have to answer lots of questions after a photo surfaced of him with the finest in fufu drinks in hand. Usually known for his raging masculinity, fans are bewildered by what appears to be his love of Parrot Bay.

but it gets worse

ADONIS

Popular newspaper columnist, Adonis, could be facing a potential scandal after a man who claims to be an ex-boyfriend of his released pictures of what he claims to be Adonis' pre-buttsex ritual of wearing tight thermals and taking "homosexual looking pictures". The man's identity is unknown and he simply goes by the alias, 'Seadonkey'.

but the most scandalous of all

LANCE

Competitive eating champion, Lance, is embroiled in a high profile scandal with what appears to be a homosexual relationship with star Philadelphia Soul Tight End, Nelson, of the Arena Football League. Seen here with his supple titties being passionately grabbed by the football star, this incident could put his eating career in jeopardy. Rumors have surfaced of a picture involving some kind of menagerie with columnist, Adonis.

And by rumors, I mean we have it right here.



In conclusion, I never want to be fucking famous. I advise all the young'ns to never drink if you don't want dumbass pictures of yourself on facebook. Fuck the media. Fuck alcohol. And fuck Nazer for not having one embarassing photo in my pictures album.